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Good Job Jokes

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Good Job Private Daredevil!

A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he
heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and
shouted:

Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good
night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night,"
what I really mean is "...

Why did Aaron Paul do such a good job portraying Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad?

Because he’s a meth-head actor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A good job

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.

As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wante...

Making mirrors sounds like a good job

It's definitely something i can see myself doing

I've just had to turn down a really good job offer, driving thirty world-famous circus clowns around on a UK tour next month.

I don't have a car small enough.

Good job to whoever named it a 'Prince Albert'.

It has a nice ring to it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother could never find a good job because he takes his job to seriously..

This one job he picked up was a door to door salesman selling vacuums in an new estate. so he goes to the first house and knocks on the door. A lady opens the door and he throws shit inside all in the new carpet and says,
“Lady if this vacuum doesn’t suck up That shit, I’ll eat it!” And she repli...

What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?

The seal of approval.

I had a really good job and i was making six figures

Now I'm just making stick figures

My grief counselor died recently

Clearly did a good job, because I didn't care

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company

But the work was just too draining.

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If you would date a guy who is funny, has a house and a good job...and don't mind that he is overweight (beer belly) and balding...I've got news for you:

you're probably Homersexual.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

Queen Victoria didn’t do such a good job keeping drinking water away from toilet water...

but it was still frowned upon to cholera fool.

Blonde boards a airplane

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class unti...

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A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says...

"Wait, honey, there's somethin' I need you to know. I'm a virgirn"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her da...

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"


"That's easy, Berlin."


"And the capital of France?"


"Berlin"


"And the one of Poland?"


"Also Berlin."


"Good job Adolf, good job!"

Everybody thought I wouldn't do a good job of being an usher at my brother's wedding.

I guess I put a lot of people in their place.

Parenting is hard. My wife asked me to change the baby and went ballistic when I didn't do a good job.

Now I have to out and find him again.

My roommate has been stealing my stuff recently. I did a good job at ignoring it, until he stole the only drinking utensil I had left.

I finally snapped and yelled “That’s the last straw!”

I heard that roles in leadership positions are good jobs...

...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea

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A man inherited a farm and decided to remodel it...

He had a great business idea. Turn it into a country vacation destination. Tours for kids, horseback and wagon rides. Learn to milk cows the old fashioned way. Eat fresh farm raised food... Well, he encountered one problem.

There was an ornery old rooster that didn't like strangers hanging a...

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

A new guy starts working at the local mental asylum.

After giving him some general indications, the director tells him to ask any question he may have.

-Yes, director, I have one. How do we know if a patient is cured and ready to leave the asylum?

-Well -says the director-, once per year, we gather some of them and ask them a question. I...

I was telling jokes at a bar filled with LGBTQ+ people

I was doing such a good job nobody could keep a straight face.

Two men, Jim and John, are walking their dogs when they pass by a restaurant.

“Let’s go in and get something to eat,” Jim suggests.

“We can’t,” responds John. “Don’t you see the sign says No Pets Allowed?”

“Oh, that sign?” says Jim. “Don’t worry about it.”

Taking out a pair of sunglasses, he walks up to the door. As he tries walking into the restaurant, t...

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A joke my dad sent me today but I translated it to English

Jack was bored out of his mind in the classroom on a friday afternoon, as were many of his friends. The teacher noticed this and came up with a small challenge to get their attention back to her.

"Alright, class. I tell you a famous saying and the first one to tell me who said it doesn't hav...

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I've started using Viagra to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets off my legs.

So the painters finish painting my home...

and they hand me the bill. I notice that by the paint it says $0. I say, "you guys did such a good job, why aren't you charging me for the paint?" The head painter looks at me and says, "don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barny...

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A guy walks into a brothel and ask that the three most requested girls are brought in front of him(long)

A beautiful blond, brunette and a red head now stand before him, yet he simply can't decide who to pick. The man turns to the blond and ask. "Why are you so popular with the customers?"

She smiles an replies "You may not believe this, but when I get screwed in my ass really good, it congratul...

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