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9pm Jokes

A Blonde and her boyfriend are watching the 9pm news

A Blonde and her boyfriend are watching the 9pm news, the anchor is showing a video of a girl threatening to jump off a cliff. The guy turns to the Blonde and says "I bet you $500 she jumps" "you're on" the Blonde replies.

2 minutes later the girl jumps and dies.

As she is pulling mo...

We passed a funeral home today having a service at like 9pm...

...I always thought that they were more of a mourning thing.

My wife told me she was coming home at 9pm but came back at 5pm and caught me with another girl

Should I forgive her for her lie ?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Punctual

Lady 1: "Why is your husband so punctual when returning home from work?"

Lady 2: "I made a simple rule: sex will begin at 9pm sharp, **whether he is there or not.**"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(I'll preface this by saying I'm not sexist)

But it's a well known fact that women never answer video calls after 9pm because their face has been restored to factory settings

Last night I really did sleep like a baby

I accidentally fell asleep and 9pm and woke up 4 hours later screaming.

A double bass player

A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.

He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notice...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A punk gets onto a bus.

A few seats next to him he sees a young beautiful nun.



After the nun gets off the bus, the bus driver discretely asks the punk: "I saw how you looked at her, she sure is hot, isn't she?"

Punk: "Yes, she is"

Driver: "You would love to fuck her, right?"

Punk: "Sure,...

The simple rules of dating

A farmer, Bill, finds out that his three daughters all have dates on the same night. Being protective, as a father is of his girls, he does the respectable thing, and walks to the door each time with his shotgun. At 7pm, the doorbell rings. Bill answers the door and asks the boy there what he wants....

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