UPJOKE
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End Table Jokes

I met a girl last night & after so flirting asked her if she wanted to come home with me to play "Doctor"?

So when we got to my place, I left her sitting on my couch with a bunch of out dated magazines on the end table for 2 1/2 hours before I came out of my bedroom.

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.

I sprinkled some more over the bed.

I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.

I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she's ever had, I was slightly...

A man's wife has been getting onto him for drinking so much...

...but he decides to go out to the bar--just one last time--anyway. As it's his last there, he drinks excessively and gets even more plastered than usual.

The next morning, he wakes up in his own bed not really sure how he got there. Before opening his eyes, he starts imagining how infuriate...

A young lady is at a home decoration store, and picks out a large mirror with a brass hanger.

The helpful store clerk says, "M'am, you wanna screw for that mirror hanger?"

The girl replies, "No, but I'll blow you for that matching brass end table."

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