Heard This Joke On Qi

Three candidates for a job as CIA hitman,
First one is told, “ your wife is tied to a chair in that room, you have to take this pistol and kill her”
After two minutes, he comes out the room saying “I couldn’t do it “. The trainer tells him “if you can’t kill your wife, you can’t be a CIA hit...

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife ...

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