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Flat Surface Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

remember when jokes like this were funny... before smartphones?

A chap walks into a pub carrying two suitcases. He puts them down and orders a drink. As he pays the barman notices that he is wearing a large watch.

'That's a large watch' says the barman (see I told you!)

'This watch,' says the man, 'is the very latest in high tech gadgetry. It'll te...

What size bra did Euclid's wife wear?

A because he only worked with flat surfaces

A builder came up to me.

He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"

"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."

A man jumps out of a plane while skydiving.

This joke works better in person.

As he is falling he realizes that his parachute doesn't work. So he decides to pray to Allah saying "Oh Allah please save me." Nothing happens. He then prays to God saying "Oh God please save me!" Nothing happens this time too. Finally he prays to Buddha and ...

Exercise for the over 40 crowd.

I came across this exercise suggested for the over 40's to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.
The article suggested doing it three days a week.
Begin by standing on a comfortable, flat surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 1kg potato bag in each hand, extend...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wash the Dishes

This guy bought a motorcycle from a friend of his. As he was handing over his money the friend gave him a small tube of Vaseline and told him to rub it on the rims when it rained to avoid water stains. He quickly stowed the tube and drove off to meet his girlfriend who was going to introduce him t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't talk during dinner!

A man is on his way to his girlfriend's house to meet her parents for the first time. She had already warned him that they are different and not to say one word during dinner, wait until after dinner to talk.
As he is walking to her house he sees a motorcycle for sale, it's used but the paint j...

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