Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day as they were walking past the hospital pool, Ralph jumps into the deep end and sinks to the bottom and just stayed there..
..Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse became aware of this heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged as now she was considered to be mentally stable. She went to tell Edna the news in person. “Edna, I have good news and b...
After a long and serious operation, Edna ended up in a coma.
Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news, "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid."
The doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice. Ralph looked at...
Wife stops husband from doing what he wants
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”
Edna always replied, “I know Buddy but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”
One year Buddy and Edna went to the state...
What is Edna Mode's least favorite city?
Dorothy and Edna, two senior widows, are talking.
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Edna and the Post Office
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about..
The letter read: Dear God, I am an ...
Three old grannies are on a park bench when a very attractive naked young man runs by in front of them.
The three old ladies, who hadn't had action in decades, fixed their eyes on the handsome hunk and gasped.
Janice pressed her hand on her heart and said, "wow, that whippersnapper damn near gave me a heart attack."
Edna, rubbing her neck, added, "I almost had an asthma attack!" ...
My friend Jack …
… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.
“Oh my god!” he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, “What happened last night?!”
Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to ...
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two elderly ladies were sitting around complaining about things.
Mertle: "I can't stand when people shorten names that don't make sense. I mean, I get Bob from Robert and Dave from David, but how do you get Dick from Richard?"
Edna: "If you ask him nicely."
I just took three grams
Looks like Myrtle, Edna, and Phyllis won't be making it to Thanksgiving this year.
A guy walks into a brothel...
“I’d like to have a girl.”
The madame gets on the loudspeaker:
“Harry- lube up Sarah!”
“That’ll be $40.”
“I don’t have that much.”
“Harry- forget it! Lube up Tonya!”
“That’ll be $20.”
“I don’t have that much either.”
“Harry- forget it! ...
(Long) A clown on a tricycle is riding down the highway...
... when suddenly he comes across a hitch hiker. "Where you off to on this glorious day, my man?" called the hitch hiker. The clown responds, "I'm going to Texas. They say an old lady named Edna makes an amazing fruit punch!" The hitch hiker is intrigued, so he decides to tag along.
Ten dollars is ten dollars
A married couple, Edna and Phil, go to the county fair every spring, and every year there's a stunt plane that goes above the fair and flies around doing tricks and whatnot for only ten dollars. Every year Phil asks if they can do it, but every year Edna says the same thing, "Ten dollars is ten doll...
A couple of friends are catching up after years apart.
"So I hear you've recently had a baby boy!" Gushes Edna.
"We did!" Responds Amy.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
"Funny story: with our first, Denise, my husband's brother wanted to name her. The name stuck, so when he asked again, we figured he'd pick another good one." ...