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Donate Blood Jokes

Went to donate blood today...awful experience, never again....

Question after question..."who's blood is it?"....."where did you get it?"....."why is it in a bucket?

A pastor, an imam, and a rabbit decide to donate blood.

The pastor comes out and says, “They tested it and told me I’m A positive.”

The imam follows up with, “Interesting! I found out I’m AB negative.”

The rabbit looks at the two of them and says, “Pretty sure I’m a type O.”

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions

Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"

Me: “When I donate blood I do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me.”

Receptionist: “Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn’t work that way.”

For once you want to do something good and donate blood…

….immediately, there are stupid questions: Who‘s is this? Where does it come from? Why is it in a bucket?

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit go to donate blood at their local bloodbank.

When the arrive they are asked what bloodtypes they have.

The priest thinks and says “I believe I am a type A positive”

The minister says“I’m quite certain I'm a type B negative”

The rabbit tugs on his beard and thoughtfully says “I think I’m a type O”

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “What’s your bloood type?”

“I’m a typo O”, said the rabbit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I keep seeing advertisements encouraging people to donate blood...

But every time I try to donate they have too many questions for me, like:

"Who's blood is this?!"
and
"Where did you get it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was in an elevator one day & noticed an attractive woman running to make it before the door closed.

He held the door for her to get in and then politely asked her “what floor?” “3rd floor” she replied, “ I come here once a month to donate blood & they pay me $50”
“That’s a coincidence” said the guy because I come here once a month myself, donate semen & they pay me $200”. Just then th...

Today I decided to donate blood...

After the procedure I asked the nurse what my blood type was out of curiosity. She told me I was type A so I thanked her and left. As I was walking out the door she came sprinting after me and said “ Wait, I told you the wrong blood type on accident, it was a type O.

I went to donate blood today

I guess Salvation Army prefers clothes.

Whne I got to donate blood they ask me so many strange wuestions like:

What is my name? Why is the blood in a bucket?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man storms out of a hospital screaming “I am not going to donate blood! I don’t want my blood to be in someone else’s boner!” The Doc sighed and asked,

“no hemo?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would never donate blood as that would mean my blood would be swimming in some other guy’s boner

no hemo

I was a excited to donate blood today and save some lives.

The nurse told me it’s great to see people B positive

I’m an organ donor and the other day I was on my way to donate blood.

But I had to stop when the police started asking me about where the heck did I get a bucketful of blood.

When I go to donate blood I expect a cup of tea, a biscuit and a polite word of thanks...

...not a whole lot of screaming, my bucket confiscated, and a policeman asking me questions.

A rich Arab oil sheikh discovers he has a rare form of blood cancer

He scours the world looking for a match for his blood type, which is also rare. He discovers a Scottish man as a match and the Scottish man agrees to donate blood to him.

The sheikh rewards him with lavish gifts; fancy cars, a mansion and the finest luxury clothes.

Two years later, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nice old woman

Once there was an old woman who went to the hospital every month to donate blood. One time she went she saw a line of men and asked them what they did. They answered that they where there to donate semen. Then she came back an hour later and stood in the line. The men said that this was the line to ...

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. T...

Donating Sperm

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked th...

I just got a blood test. Was told my blood type is O negative? Do you know what that means?

Means I can donate blood to anyone in the world...who also has aids.

(Stolen from Anthony jeselniks’s standup special)

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