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Bitcoin Jokes

Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo?

Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat

How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?

Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.

Superman is useless on Wednesday evening because he goes to a weekly Bitcoin meet up.

It's his Crypto-night.

How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin?

Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?

Why shouldn’t you bother someone who collects bitcoins?

Because they’re mining their own business

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

I have a joke on Bitcoin

But it requires so much energy to get it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Bitcoin and sex have in common?

You have to pull out at the right time.

How do you eat a bitcoin?

With a megabyte.

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the bitcoin crash won't be as bad as black friday

At least we don't have to worry about people who jump out of their basement windows.

A daughter shows her banker father her work on Bitcoin's lightning network to speed up transactions, in response he ask's her if she would like to hear his opinion on Bitcoin. She replies yes.

"It's worthless" her father says

"I know" She replies "But let's hear it anyway"

What's the difference between a bitcoin and a bitcoin and a bitcoin and a bitcoin and a bitcoin?

\-5%, +12%, -34%, +27%.

If Bitcoin eventually goes under…

Will it go to the Crypt O’ Currency?

A vegan bitcoin investor who owns a Tesla, does CrossFit, and refused to vote in the last election walks into a bar

The real question is, what he’s going to bring up first?

Superman and Bitcoin

### Batman invited all the superheroes to an evening discussing bitcoin investments

Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I confessed to my therapist that I've been stealing other people's Bitcoin.

He says I'm his first cryptomaniac.

What did the bitcoin investor say to the man who wanted some bitcoin?

MINE!

If I had invested $1000 into Bitcoin today I would have...

No idea how it worked

My son asked me for $100 in bitcoins.

I said, "$9 in bitcoins, why would you want $67 in bitcoins?"

How many Bitcoin miners does it take to change a light bulb?

A million – one to do it and the rest to verify he/she did it.

A vegan, a bitcoin trader and someone who didn’t vote in 2016 all walk into a bar.

Who tells you about it first?

I bought a Bitcoin!

And its gone!

Tim asked his bitcoin investing brother

For $10 worth of bitcoin

B: $9.34? Why do you need $10.35 of bitcoin?


T: I just want to start investing for college?


B: Ok, I just sent you $24.39 of bitcoin for you.


T: Thanks! Why did you give me more than I asked you for?


B: I gave you $15.43...

Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.

I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.

What’s the different between Bitcoin and my wife?

My wife doesn’t go down on me.


Get it? Bitcoins dropping and I’m in a horrible marriage.

Yesterday I tucked some receipts from Bitcoin into an exotic dancer's panties.

My first use of stripto currency.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn't the blood invest in Bitcoin?

It's a Cryptocurrency. Now give me karma my wife left me, I lost custody of my kids and I just lost my job. I'm about one more thing from snapping, for the love of fucking god upvote this damn post.

Son asks his father (a bitcoin miner) to give him 1 Bitcoin for birthday.

Father replies: "Son! 20485$ is much cash! Why do you even need 18572$? For 21568$ You can buy a good car!"

I asked Google if a Bitcoin has two sides, but Google couldn't make heads or tails of it.

The top result just didn't make cents.

My dad is a bitcoin trader

I asked, "Dad, could you lend me a tenner please?"

Dad - "£9.42? What do you need £11.63 for?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and Robin go out for a few drinks

Both superheroes are exhausted after a long week of non-stop crime fighting, and decide to chill for a few a hours at the local watering hole.

Robin knows his friend has been working way too hard and for long hours. So he thinks, what the heck, he can get drunk and relax. He decides to remain...

An explorer claimed the Ancient Egyptians had Bitcoin technology before anyone else!

He stumbled upon a tomb filled with ancient gold money, and shouted “Look at this crypt! Ohh currency!!”

How do you get a Bitcoin technical analyst off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza

Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin

That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.

"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"

"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"


"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."


"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job y...

A Bitcoin trader walks into a bar

He walks up to the bar, orders a whiskey, pays the bartender one bitcoin and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be worth a million bucks!"

The bartender pours him a glass of water and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be Scotch."

A boy asked his bitcoin investing dad...

...for 100$ worth of bitcoin.

Dad: 98.7$ ? , what will you do with 105$? Can't you just think how valuable 95$ is?

Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?

Because he can’t go near crypto@night

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I treat my girlfriend just like my bitcoin

I never pull out.

What's the best way to become a bitcoin millionaire?

Start by being a bitcoin billionaire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked the prostitute will she accept bitcoin ?

"No, it goes up and down more than you do"

Me: "Yea, I know man. I can't believe it's risen 1500%

Me: "Yea, I know man. I can't believe it's risen 1500%

My professor stops writing on the chalkboard and turns around. "Nothing that raises 1500% that quickly is a good investment. I'm so tired of hearing about Bitcoin this Bitcoin that"

Me: We were talking about the cost of Colle...

My stock portfolio has tripled in value this year

From an initial value of 2 bitcoins, it is now worth 6 bitcoins.

New coin is coming out that is worth 8 times more than bitcoin!

It’s name is bytecoin!

Hey girl are you Bitcoin?

Because you look like you’re about to crash and I’ll get screwed

Interviewer: How did you become a Bitcoin millionare

Bitcoin Millionare: ...bit by bit...

Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.

Turns out he's afraid of inflation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman went to a Halloween party

Someone was dressed as a Bitcoin.

Someone dressed as a Dogecoin.

Someone else dressed asEthereum.

Superman was pissed.

He didn't realize it was gonna be a Crypto night.

A son asks his father for 10$ in bitcoin

The father responds: Son there is no way in hell im giving you $9.78... what the hell do you need $11.32 for??

Is this Punny to you ??

So once Superman gets invited to a themed party over the weekend....
So Superman enters this party place and starts feeling damn weak and uneasy...
Someone is dressed as Bitcoin
Someone is dressed as Ethereum
Someone is dressed as DogeCoin
Someone is dressed as Ripple...
.
.
...

This new digital currency is bitc*in!

Sorry. Bitcoin. It’s called bitcoin

When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

Son asks his father for a gift

Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday

Dad: - What do you want Son

Son: - I need a Bitcoin

Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job

Why did the blonde chew on nickles?

She heard she could become rich from bitcoin

caution: high altitudes under certain conditions can cause a bloody nose

Like on Mt. Shasta I heard a guy saying, "I just wanted to show people that it's possible to do things like hiking and Crossfit on a vegan diet, and besides I needed something to do after I retired at 30 on my Bitcoin investments" so I punched him in the nose.

Who are the worst guests at a dinner party?

Vegan bitcoin owners.

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