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Costume Party Jokes

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A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.

"What the hell are you supposed to be, then?" the host asks.

"I'm a turtle," the man replies.

"What a pile of shite!" the host replies. "How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?"

"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"

Costume Party

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by her not going. So he
took his costume ...

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

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The costume party (Sorry if this is a repost. Best joke I know.)

A man, lets call him jim, goes to his buddys costume party wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Jim's friend walks over to him and says "hey, jim... uh what are you supposed to be?"
Jim smiles and says "well im a premature ejaculation."
His friend looks puzzled and asks "okay, well why a...

So there's this one kid at a costume party and the host ask what he was dressed up as. The kid told him that he dressed up as a harp, and the host told him that his costume is too small to be a harp.

The kid then said, "Are you calling me a lyre?"

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Two guys are getting ready for a costume party...

But there's a catch: The host said they have to get dressed up as 'emotions.'

So the first guy goes home and sticks his dick in a pear.

The second guy goes home and sticks his dick in a big bowl of custard.

They show up at the party together and knock on the door. The host opens...

I went to a costume party where crime was the theme

The host looked at my crow costume with a disappointed frown.

“I thought I told everyone to dress like a crime!” He said, gesturing at his blood soaked butcher’s apron, and severed human hand.

“I get yours, manslaughter! But I did indeed wear an appropriate costume. Now watch this; ‘C...

Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he’s dressed up as and he responds “I’m a snail!”

That’s M’Shell on my back

I invited my buddy to a costume party and he said he was going as his dad

He didn’t show up

I went to a costume party last night...

Once guy was dressed as a vacuum cleaner and another as a porch swing.

We all agreed the first guy sucked and the second guy rocked!

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken.

I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

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When I go to a costume party this year, I'm showing up wearing only a pair of jeans.

That way when I'm asked what my costume is, I'll say "I'm a premature ejaculator. I just came in my pants."

A small company hosts a costume party

A small startup company announces they will be holding an employee costume party to celebrate the end of their first fiscal year in business.

The theme of the party is “Past and Present” to celebrate the work that has been done while also looking forward to the years to come. To further expa...

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Three Guys With Heavy Brooklyn Accents Get Invited To A Costume Party.

The theme for this party is "Dress Like an Emotion." The first guy is wearing a pear costume. The second guy is wearing a dress. And the third guy is butt-naked except for a custard pie around his pecker.

They ring the doorbell. The host opens the door, sizes them up, and says "You guys aren'...

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A guy goes to a costume party wearing only underpants The host says "What are you supposed to be?"

The guy replies "I'm a premature ejaculation. I just came in my underwear."

Did you hear about the time Morrissey went to the costume party with a date dressed up as a toilet paper mummy?

He introduced him as 'This Charmin Man'.

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The costume party

A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in.

A lady comes dressed in red. She says, "Anger!", and lets her in.

Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of ...

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A psychology professor at an esteemed university decided to have a costume party for his birthday.

Every student was invited but would only be let in if they were dressed as an emotion. This confused but intrigued his class as they were all very astute and eager to party.

The night of the party arrived and the first guest came dressed in all red.

"What emotion are you?" the professo...

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Costume party

The hostess sends out an invitation for a costume party: "Come dressed as an emotion!"

The first guest shows up wearing a pink lycra costume with just some tassels around the private parts. The hostess asks : "What emotion are you?" The guest replies : "I'm tickled pink!"

The second ...

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I went to a fancy dress costume party the other day...

There was a guy standing there nude! Completely fucking naked with nothing but a girl on his back (also naked).

"What's your costume supposed to be?" I asked the man incredulously.

"I'm a snail obviously bro!" He smiled at my confusion and pointed at the girl he was carrying.

"...

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg.

One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnol...

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A girl was having a costume party...

(My favorite joke told to me by my uncle a long time ago)

A girl was having a costume party, and decided that the theme of the party was going to be emotions. So she puts one of her friends at the door to make sure everyone coming in is dressed like a emotion.

Well the party is going ...

I went to an Animal Costume Party with my wife on my back

I knocked on the door and was immediately told I wasn’t in costume.

I said that I was and when asked which animal I was I said,

“I’m a turtle and on my back, that’s Michelle”

A man walks into a costume party

Wearing nothing but underwear, and with a girl wrapped to his back with silver tape.

A friend of his welcomes him and asks "So... What are you dressed as?"

"I'm a turtle", answers the guy.

"And who is this on your back?"

"Oh, that's just Michelle."

(Probably a repo...

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

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Costume Party

A few years back I threw a costume party at my house. It was really fun to see all my friends dressed up silly. There was a cowboy, a gorilla, a nurse, a bum, you know, all the standard outfits one would expect. Everyone was having a great time when the doorbell rang, I went to the door and opened i...

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Two Jamaican men are invited to a costume party…

The invitation read “come dressed as an emotion”. Both of the men were stumped as to what to go as and thought long and hard for weeks. Finally on the day of the party, while they were sitting in the kitchen, an idea came to one of them. He jumped up, ran to the fridge and grabbed a large bowl of cu...

Terminator and his friends were going to a costume party.

They all decided that they'll go as composers.

Friend 1: I'll be Mozart

Friend 2: I'll be Beethoven

Terminator: I'LL BE BACH

Barack Obama went to a costume party...

Barack Obama went to a costume party while giving his wife a piggy-back ride.

The host of the party greeted them, saying “hello Mr. President! I’m so glad you’re here, but what are you dressed as?”

Obama responded, “a snail! That’s Michelle on my back!”


Credit to Tim Pearce ...

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Best Costume (nsfw)

A woman at a costume party sees a man wearing a glass jar over his pecker.

She asks him what he is dressed as.

He says, "a firefighter. Break the glass, pull the knob, and I'll come as fast as I can."

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Costume Party

A man decides to host a costume party and he tells all of his friends that the theme is to dress as an emotion. So a week later on the night of the party the first guy shows up dressed entirely in red and the host looks at him weird and says, "what are you supposed to be?"
The guy replies, "I'M R...

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The Costume Party

A couple is excited about a costume party they have just been invited to. The husband, who is black, asked his wife to just pick up a costume for him since he’ll be too busy at work to get one himself. She excitedly agrees.

The next day, he comes home and finds a Batman suit waiting for h...

Guy goes to a costume party dressed in a Speedo with a potato in the front. He knocks on the door of the party and the host says what are you suppose to be?

He says, “I’m a dictator”

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Costume Party

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

"Where is y...

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Three Aggies show up at a biblical costume party dressed as firemen.

"This is a biblical costume party!" says the host. "What are you supposed to be?"

"Well," says one of them, "it says right here in the Bible that three wisemen came from afar!"

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A man is having a costume party

A man is having a costume party where everyone is to come dressed as an emotion. After setting up everything for the party the doorbell rings.

The man goes to answer the door and sees to large Iranian men standing naked on his door step. One man has a pie over his genitals, while another see...

Ole and Sven are invited to a costume party with their girlfriends.

The party invitation says to come dressed as an emotion. After a day of deliberating, they all agree to meet at Sven’s place before going to the party. Just before Sven is about to put his costume on, there’s a knock on the door. Outside is his girlfriend, Hilda, who’s dressed head to toe in bright ...

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A Costume Party

A man is having a costume party and the theme is emotions. When the man answered the door to the first guest, he sees a man painted green with the letters N and V on his chest. The man says that he is dressed as " Green with NV."

The second guest arrives and she is dressed in pink and covered...

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Three friends go a halloween costume party..

They're greeted at the door by the host. "Okay, so we have Steve Irwin, a zombie\- wait, why are you just in you underwear?"

"I'm premature ejaculation; I've come in my pants"

3 celebrities are going to a costume party. They decided to have musician themed costumes.

Tom Cruise says, "I'll be Mozart." Robert Downey Jr. day's "I'll be Beethoven." Arnold Swarznegger says, "I'll be Bach."

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The boss is hosting a costume party for Halloween

We see all the usual costumes, that you buy at the store, and even a few homemade ones, but I noticed that the intern was only wearing a pair of jeans. We’re all trying to figure out what his costume is, a shitty hulk? That Kylo Ren meme? Nobody knows, until one person walks up to him and asks:
<...

A MtF Trans woman goes to a Halloween costume party...

But she shows up in her regular clothes. The party goers ask "did you forget this was a costume party?"

She replies "Oh I remembered. I'm dressed as one of the X-Men."

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he was going to attend the 18th century composer costume party.

He said, “Yes, I’ll be Bach”.

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Costume party in Boston

So a charitable organization in Boston throws a costume party fundraiser. The theme of the party is Emotions, and the partygoers are supposed to dress like an emotion.

So at about midnight, a man stumbles up to the door in a wedding gown. He's stopped by the door man.

"Da fucka you do...

I went to a costume party yesterday dressed as a mushroom.

It was great, the people there thought I was a real fun guy.

I planned to go to the costume party as a eunuch...

... but I couldn't quite pull it off.

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At a costume party my girlfriend was dressed as an egg and me as a chicken

we had sex in the bathroom and I can tell chicken "came" first

Joe and his friends went to the costume party...

Joe and his friends went to the costume party and were really enjoying themselves.

Then a woman came in. She was wearing nothing at all, but was body-painted in white from head to toes.

The guys struggled to guess what that meant but after few drinks Joe gathered courage and went to as...

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A man had no idea what to be for his costume party.

Nothing was working out for him, and it finally came to him.

Later that night he walked out wearing only jeans. His wife asked him what he was supposed to be. He replied "A premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

~Again an old one, but I like it. Sorry if it's a repost~

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A therapist is throwing a costume party for all of her patients.

She tells them to show up as an emotion. The first person knocks on the door. The Dr. opens the door and sees a man dressed in green clothes from head to toe. "You must be green with 'ENVY', come on in." 5 minutes later another knock. As she opens the door there is a woman dressed entirely in yellow...

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A man is invited to a costume party...

where the theme is to come as something or someone that represents your sex life. After thinking a little, he finally comes up with the perfect costume!

As he enters the party, the host comes up to ask him about his costume.

"I'm curious, how does Abraham Lincoln represent your sex lif...

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Two guys are invited to a costume party, where the theme is ‘Come as an emotional state’.

They arrive at the party and ring the bell. The host comes out and sees they are completely naked, one with his dick inside a hollowed out pear, and the other with his dick dipped into a bowl of yellow goop.

“Oh my god! What are you supposed to be?” she asks.

The first guy replies “Wel...

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A man is hosting a costume party...

And this years theme is "emotion." The invites instruct the guests to show up dressed as an emotion.

On that note, the first man shows up with an all red jumpsuit from his head to his toes.
"And what emotion might you be symbolizing this evening," asked the host.
"I'm red with rage," re...

What do you call a Golden retriever at a costume party?

A Golden deceiver

I told the wife that I didn't want to go to this 80's costume party with her.

But she remained adamant.

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM costume party

Oops wrong sub

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A couple was going to a costume party

The wife goes and gets changed and comes out with nothing but a lemon hanging around her waist. The husband says "what are you supposed to be?" The wife says "I'm going as a sour-puss." The husband says "alrighty then" and goes to get changed. He comes out with nothing but a potato hanging around hi...

Did you hear about the dog who tried to dress up as a cat but got sick at a Halloween costume party?

He said he wasn't feline well.

I tried dressing up as the plane that crash into the twin towers for the office costume party

It didn't land too well

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Halloween party

Bob decides to throw a costume party for Halloween. He has an excellent turnout and the party is packed wall to wall. Everyone is dressed up... well almost everyone. Bob sees his co-worker George across the party just wearing a pair of jeans, no shirt shoes or socks, just jeans. So Bob decides to co...

A man is sitting at a bar during a costume party when a friend comes up to him and says,

“You were supposed to dress up like something that symbolized your love life.”



“I am,” the man says.



“You look like Abe Lincoln,” the friend responds.



“Yup,” he replies, taking a sip of beer. “My last four scores were seven years ago.”

A woman walks into a costume party, dressed as a turtle.

As part of the costume, another woman was painted green ND attached to her back.

At the party, someone asked the woman "Who's that on you're back?"
To which they responded "That's Michelle".

I went to a costume party last night and a guy dressed as Robin Hood said to me "Tally-Ho!"

I looked around and said "Seven, but I think most are just costumes".

A guy walks into a bar on Halloween

A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a were...

An older man walks into a bar...

...wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," pr...

We had a surprise costume party for my Australian co-workers promotion and we dressed him up as his nations favorite marsupial.

He was well koalafied.

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A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing, but has his dick buried in a pear...

Horrified, the host asks, "What are you supposed to be?" To which the man replies, "I'm deep-in-dis-pear." The host chuckles and lets him.

A few minutes later there is a knock on the door, and the host finds a man with his dick in bowl of vanilla custard. "What are you supposed to be?" the h...

How did the Christian support group warn Chris Tucker about the hazardous weather conditions as he drove to the 'Die Hard' costume party?

'Slippy Highway, Brother Tucker'

Halloween Joke

This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he’s just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.

The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume?”

The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”...

A naked man is walking down the street with a woman on his back...

A guy on the other side of the street yells at him, "Hey, what're you doing!?"

The naked man replies, "Don't get all upset. I'm headed to a costume party!"

"As what?" asks the guy.

"As a tortoise! Can't you tell?"

"Well, what's the woman doing on your back?"

"Oh, t...

halloween joke

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party, and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They'd come to the party together dressed as t...

A joke

My friend was planning on going to a costume party as Shrek, but was really reluctant to paint himself green. He was worried about it being seen as insensitive, like blackface. He asked my opinion, but I wasn’t sure. So, I told him, “I think you better check yourself before you Shrek yourself.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woody Allen's Moose hunting joke

I shot a moose once. I was hunting upstate New York, and I shot a moose. And I strapped him onto the fender of my car. And I'm driving home along the West Side Highway, but what I didn't realize was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp knocking him unconscious. And ...

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For my cake day, here is a joke

Two guys get invited to a costume party. The invitation says that all costumes need to be of an emotion. So they think about it and figure out their costumes. The day of the party comes and the first guy gets completely naked, gets a bowl of custard and sticks his dick in it. The second guy also...

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A man is driving down the street one night and sees a nun hitchhiking on the side of the road.

Wanting to do a good deed, he pulls over and offers to pick her up.

Thankful, the nun gladly accepts his ride and tells him where she is heading. This happens to be on the way for him anyway, so even better!

The conversation on the way is a bit stiff at first — you know, not really kno...

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One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab...

A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.

When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you." She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everythi...

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Another fancy dress party joke [NSFW]

Three Italian mobsters are invited to the Don's costume party. The Don isn't your typical Don, though. He has been seeing a shrink lately, and to help his goons get in touch with their emotions he's asked them all to dress as an emotion.

Not wanting to disappoint the Don, the goons go out of ...

A nun gets into a cab...

...and noticed that the *very* handsome cab driver was staring intensely at her.

“My child,” the nun said “is something the matter?”

“Well,” the cab driver started “I have a question to ask you, but I’m worried it might offend you.”

“My child, when you’re as old as I am, and be...

A kid walks out in a Tortoise costume,why are you wearing that costume?”

Mother: why are you wearing that costume?

Kid: I’m going to that costume party

Mother: isn’t that next year?

Kid: yeah, but I’m a Tortoise...

2 friends meet each other. Matt is afraid, while Lycas is wet.

Lucas says: "Why are you scared?". Then Matt replies: "Yesterday, I was driving my car and accidentally I hit deer. I tought it was dead, so I thrown it in a nearby lake. By the way, why are you wet?". Lucas replies: "I was going to a costume party, dressed like a deer. Then someone hit me, and then...

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Emotions NSFW

3 dummies decide to go to a party. They arrive at the party and are promptly turned away because it’s a costume party and they are not wearing costumes. Determined to go to the party they go looking for props to make costumes. In the back alley they find a pile of painting supplies, brushes, rollers...

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