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Carnegie Hall Jokes

I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall....

“I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say ‘Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.’”

— Demetri Martin

A tourist in New York wants to visit Carnegie Hall, so he's walking down the street trying to find it.

He sees a musician carrying a violin case going the opposite way. He stops him and asks: "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?"

Without missing a beat, the musician replies, "Practice, practice, practice."

The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...

The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman I had been seeing told me after we had sex for the first time, "I didn't know you had such a small organ."

I told her, "I didn't know I was going to be playing Carnegie Hall."

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