UPJOKE
glucosefructoselactosemonosaccharidepolysaccharideribosedeoxyribosedisaccharidesucrosestarchcelluloseketonealdehydechitincarbon

Carbs Jokes

I started counting my carbs.

I'm going for a high score.

How many carbs do people in india eat while dieting?

Naan.

Cutting carbs

You know, experts say that it’s healthy to cut carbs and they’re probably right.




I just don’t know whether I should cut them with a knife or a fork.

Carbs

are my starch enemy.

A triathlete walks into a bar to replenish some carbs after a hard workout and orders a beer

. "I just got done doing a 10-mile open water swim," he brags to the bartender. "Ten miles, huh? That's impressive," the bartender replies. "I'd struggle to do that much on a bike." "Yeah, well bikes aren't that good in water," the athlete says.

What do you call 52 slices of bread?

A deck of carbs!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not getting enough carbs for normal brain function?

A woman walks into a bakery on Monday, and asks the baker for some bagels. The baker says, “I don’t have any bagels, I will have more on Thursday.” The woman says okay and leaves.

On Tuesday the woman goes back to the bakery and asks for some bagels. The baker says, “I told you, I don’t have ...

I slept with a fat dyslexic woman last night

She gave me carbs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the waiter

So a customer says to the waiter, "I'm a vegetarian, I'm allergic to gluten, I don't eat carbs, I'm lactose intolerant, and I'm allergic to nuts. What should I get?"

And the waiter says, "... the fuck out."

I work as a spy for the US government.

One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Herodotus was a vlogger

It's ya boi Herodotus back atch ya with another travlog!

So, I was in Delphi, and man, they be real mad with em Spartans.

Not taking sides, just my 2 Drachmae. Maybe my Athenian homies should've toned down their backstabbing a little bit, so that those Spartan hunks didn't have to canc...

What's the difference between a potato and your sister?

Ones is fat, lumpy and full of carbs. The other is a potato.

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

Unhealthy food

So the guy goes to the doctor, says he doesn't feel all to good. The doc poked him a bit, measured his pulse and stuff, and finally gave him a questionnaire about his diet.

So he reads about his last week's menu.
- Red meat? You can't have that much red meat! You know how much saturated f...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.