UPJOKE
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C4 Jokes

What is the most dangerous position in chess?

C4
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When I heard that terrorists were killing farmers by putting C4 in their cattle I was horrified...

It's abombinabull!
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I just put C4 in my washer

And blew my load
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A guy was wondering what being a suicide bomber was like

So I told him, "C4 yourself"
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Did you hear about the terrorist who was charged for putting a pound of C4 into a steer?

Abombinabull!!
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What car do terrorists prefer?

Citroen C4
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How can you tell if being a suicide bomber really guarantees you blessings in the afterlife?

You have to C4 yourself
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Did you know that there was a corvette known for exploding?

It was the C4
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Why did the NPC blow himself up?

He was sceptical, hence he wanted to C4 himself
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Which car does a terrorist choose to plant a car bomb?

A Citroën C4.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You can tell a jihadi about the 72 virgins, but ultimately....

He has to C4 himself

What comes before C4?

B4
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3 steps to fix anything

1. Try duct tape, if that doesn't work, see 2


2. Try gorilla glue, if that doesn't work, see 3


3. Try J.B. Weld, if that doesn't work, C4
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What's Bin Laden's favorite chess opening?

Pwn to C4
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A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"
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I convinced a bunch of people to blow themselves up on the street. Don't believe me?

Come c4 yourself.
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What did the Taliban say to the blind guy on an OP

I c4 you

Forgive me
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So my friend put down three explosives.

For some reason, I C4.
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Why did the soldier blow himself up when he found out about exploding devices

He wanted to C4 himself
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I think Samsung has messed up with my new phone's shipment.

I had booked a Galaxy Note ''S7'', not C4.
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what does it feel like to join a suicide bomb squad?

I don't know, you'll have to C4 yourself!
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What’s every SWAT team leader’s favourite chess move?

C4
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What size envelope do you need to send a letter bomb?

C4
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What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.
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Samsung sold me the wrong phone.

I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4.
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A man gets pulled over for speeding

The cop comes over to the window and asks the man, "What's the rush?"
"Well, you see I a body in the trunk and I wanna bury it ASAP before it stinks up the place," Answers the man.
The cop confused, "Why is there a body in the trunk?"
"Well, I wanted to buy 3 kilos of heroin and the other g...
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What's a musician's favorite weapon?

C4.

But a knife will do in a pinch, so long as its #.
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What is a Terrorist's favourite car model?

A Citroën C4!

Disclaimer: My student also told me this one.
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My friend said he wondered what it's like to blow up...

So I handed him explosives and said "Here, go C4 yourself."
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How does a terrorist know what type of bomb he's using?

Well, he can C4 himself.
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Three men, English, Russian and Pakistani are stuck on a plane..

The plane's about to crash, so they try to make the plane as light as possible.

The Russian man has an idea, and throws all his Vodka out the window. "We have plenty that in country"

The Pakistani opens his bag and throws out his guns, C4 etc. "We have plenty of those in our country"...
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*A conversation between two Wannabe Terrorists *

T1: Oi mate, check out this bomb. I got it for a very cheap price!!


T2: It's a fake man.


T1: Fake? C4 yourself man.


*explosion*
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