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Brainer Jokes

Jesus's favorite gun

My uncle is a member of the NRA. He came over for the Christmas dinner wearing a shirt with Jesus on it. I noticed his shirt and complimented it.

He then took his jacket off and showed me the back. On it, Jesus was holding a PK in one hand and an AK-47 on the other. Above it was text th...

What do Zombies think when they see someone with a red hat and no mask?

That's a no brainer

I once dated a neurologist….

But we broke up. Guess this relationship was a no-brainer!

Everyone knows how Kennedy died

That ones a no brainer

My favorite jokes are about bacteria.

They’re no-brainers.

Who is the 45th president of the United States?

The answer is a no-brainer!

Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?

A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.

Everyone is debated capital punishment nowadays talking about lethal injection and humane treatment. Me, I think we should just shoot them in the head...

Seems like a no-brainer to me

In college, I wanted to study how to do lobotomies.

I thought it was a no-brainer.

Why do zombies have no interest in solving easy puzzles?

Because they are no-brainers.

When I trained to be a doctor, I decided to specialize in lobotomies.

Seemed like a no-brainer.

Between Justin Bieber, Quavo, DJ Khaled, Chance the Rapper, and Me, who is the worst rapper?

That’s a No Brainer, I’m the One.

Why are skeletons so bad at remembering things?

C'mon guys, this is a no-brainer.

Lobotomy is the solution for all mental illnesses

It's a no brainer

It seems I passed my mummy embalming exam...

It was a no brainer!

Son asks "Dad, do you die if you lose your head?"

Dad responds "That is a no-brainer"

Did you hear about the zombie that went vegan?

He called his decision a no-brainer

I bought zombie insurance recently

it was a no brainer

Brain Dead

A man got into a car accident and was rushed to hospital. At the hospital, the man's doctor declares him to be brain-dead. Soon, the man's wife shows up at the hospital. The doctor gives the wife the bad news.

"What now?! What are my options?" Sobs the wife.

The doctor replies, "Well, ...

My Zombie Friend

was getting fat. So his doctor put him on a diet. It was a no-brainer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old joke popular with engineers and other neckbeards

A man dies and surprise! he finds himself in the sky and surrounded by clouds and in front of an old man who asks, ”Heaven or Hell?”

Guy goes, "what kind of question is that?" and the old man sighs and goes, “oh another one. Well allow me to show you and then you can make your decision ...

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