UPJOKE
limitlessdeepunlimitedunclothedunendingboundlessinexhaustibleproverbialnever-endingfathomlessunfathomableendlessinfinitecesspoolvexation

Bottomless brunch

I really misinterpreted that this morning

Someone tried to sue me over my bottomless pit

But there weren’t any grounds

A guy walks into a bar and orders a Corona and bottomless hurricanes...

Bartender says "That'll be about $20.20"

Long, but worth it.(?)

Two hunters were walking around a farmer's property looking for game when they came across a very large, seemingly bottomless hole in the ground.
'How deep you think it is?'
'I dunno, let's chuck something in'
They look around for some big enough to make a decent sound when it hit the botto...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a pitbull with no butt?

a bottomless pit.

Two men are walking the woods.

They come across a large hole the ground, several meters across and apparently bottomless.

After examining the hole for a moment, they decide to throw something into the hole to see how long it takes for it to hit the bottom. The first man throws in a pebble, and after a long pause hears noth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a prostitute with a small ass and a big appetite?

Bottomless hoe

Ukrainian Armed Force enters Crimea.

So ukrainian soldiers enter Crimea, all ruzzians and pro-ruzzian citizen decide to evacuate to ruzzia.
Kerch, pier, enormous ferry.
People and cars taking on it.
The captain stands aside and smoking pipe.
Petty officer asks: Sir, maybe it is enough, sir?
Captain: No. Not yet...

A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole

The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.

He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.

He throws in a big stick; still no sound

He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothin...

If there’s one place I can’t stand...

It’s a bottomless pit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about Brad Pitt's buttocks reduction surgery?

Now he's a bottomless pitt.

Bob, Tom and Jeff are walking through the forest.

They come across a large hole in the ground. Jeff picks up a stone and throws it into the hole.

They listen closely and never hear the stone hit bottom.

Bob goes over and put picks up a larger rock, needs two hands to throw this rock down the hole.

They listen closely and nev...

Two Hunters and a Goat

Two hunters are walking along in the deep of autumn, stalking a buck, when they come across a clean-cut, 10-ft diameter hole, that goes too deep to see the bottom.

“A sinkhole?” one hunter asks, “How deep does this go?” The other shrugs.

The first hunter looks around and finds a stick,...

Blackberry Hill

A man tending bar was working as usual with a small number of people. A guy walks in with his pants slung over his shoulder, clearly sweating, his hot dog on full display. The bartender takes one look at him and asks, "What happened to you?"

The guy responds "I was on top of Blackberry Hill."...

Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, and Ajit Pai walks into a bar ...

Later, a man walks up to the bottomless sinkhole, looks down, and asks “Why’s the bar so low?”

Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats?

Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I swear skinny people without butts eat the most...

They're bottomless!

Have you seen my goat?

Two guys were walking through the woods when they came upon a huge hole. They wondered how deep it was so they stared to drop things down it. They started with a stone, and listened. Nothing. Then a large log. Still nothing. Then they found a huge piece of concrete. The two of them struggled to get ...

Two hunters were walking through the woods...

Two hunters were walking through the woods, and they stumble upon a giant, seemingly bottomless hole.

Wanting to find out how deep it it, the hunters begin throwing rocks down it and listen for them to hit the ground. After a few attempts, with no sound ever coming from the hole, the hunters ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey.

He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a magical bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore.

So he decides to try and have sex with the donkey. He drops his pants and positions himself behi...

Two men are walking down the street when they notice an enormous hole

The hole appears bottomless and the men, being men, want to see how deep it is. They find an anvil near by, grab a side each, shuffle over to the hole and chuck it in. The anvil drops like a stone but makes absolutely no noise. The men look at each other with a puzzled expression. Suddenly they hear...

A goat and a hole

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that’s...

"When I started my job, they handed me three envelopes."

"*These three envelopes were left to you by the previous employee who was recently let go. He said to open them in order if you ever got into a jam.*"

The job didn't seem so tough, and after all, why would I want to take advice from the guy who was just fired? I threw the envelopes into a dra...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman makes a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power, but doesn't want to go to Hell.

The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed.

She goes onto be the best stockbroker in her city, giving her a near bottomless checkbook and connections to lawmakers, celebrities, anyone with even a scrap of power in the city.


Almo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.