"How the fuck can you call me a slag?" Yelled my girlfriend during a fight. "I've only slept with seven men."
"Look, can we finish this when they've gone?"
My wife bought me some iron ore for Christmas.
She seems to have misunderstood when I asked for a slag.
“Dad” says son, “what’s the difference between theory and reality”?
“I’ll explain” says Dad. “MOTHER! Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?”
“Yes I would” says mother, giggling.
“DAUGHTER! Would you sleep with Harry Styles for a million bucks?”
“Yes I would” she says, blushing.
“There you go son” says Dad. “Theoretically we ...
German thots be like...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy with a black eye boards his plane
As he sits down in his seat, he notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes...mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a 'tongue twister accident'. See, I wa...