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Blood Tests Jokes

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Obscure blood tests

The man called the doctor to ask if the test results for his wife had returned.

- Yes, they have, but the test answers are a little unclear, the doctor said. Either she has AIDS or she has Alzheimer's.

- Okay, how can we clarify this further?

- Run her a few miles out into the w...

Scientists have conducted blood tests on a frog to extract DNA and confirm its identity.

They have discovered that the frog was:-
30% Russian
30% French
20% Italian
10% Spanish
5% British
4% Dutch
And a tad Pole...!

Was paranoid because I had a blood test

Still got an A+

I'm really good at blood tests

Every time I take one I get an A+

My blood tests came back positive.

I definitely have blood.

I don't ever get blood tests.

It's not because I'm afraid of needles or anything.

It's just that my blood's under enough pressure as is.

A man goes to the doctor for blood tests [long]

After extended testing and an agonizing wait, he finally gets a call from the doctor to immediately come into the office and to have as little contact with others as possible.
On arrival he is greeted by a nurse in full bio suit and whisked into a barren room.
The doctor comes in, also in fu...

My doctor was telling me that my blood tests had a typo

So I guess it's pretty cool to be a universal donor.

Google pizza

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google pizza.
- Ah okay, wrong number
- No sir, Google bought Gordon's
- Okay. Then can I order please...
- Do you want the usual?
- The usual? You know my usual?
- According to our caller ID, the last 12 times you ordered pizza with cheese...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange.

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to doc

Man goes to the doctors and says 'my wife came in for blood tests last week and she won't tell me what's wrong with her' doctor says ' well I shouldn't really tell you but it's very strange and the tests were inconclusive - she either has AIDS or Alzheimer's '. Guy says 'oh man what shall I do?' Do...

I work on a lettuce farm in Arizona...

Last week an FDA team showed up and shut us down on the back of reports that our produce was making people sick. After weeks of exhaustive investigation they found that the fence around our farm perimeter contained extremely toxic amounts of the chemical element Rhenium, and as the fenceposts aged t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reality

Letter from Daughter to Parents

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,please sit d...

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