Big Ben Jokes

Because they're working around the clock.

Which is crazy long considering they were working around the clock.

They're both massive bell-ends.

That's ridiculous, considering they're working around the clock.

Thanks to everyone that…worked around the clock.

They had men working around the clock.

Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Thankfully, his brother Richard reported sick that day .

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch an... read more

They're having to work around the clock to make it happen.

In America we have thousands of Big Ben’s, most of the time we can’t get around them in a store aisle but it’s still not exactly something you take a selfie in front of.

he works around the clock.

...what up? I got a big clock.

I've heard people complain that it has tiny hands.

One is inhuman, intricately decorated, and exists only to mark the passage of time.



The other one's a clock.

One day unfortunately the man died after many years of doing his job. Naturally they had to find a replacement.

So after a few interviews a man with no arms comes up and requests the job, the interviewers are confused but he asks to demonstrate.

The man walks right to the edge of the t... read more

English person: “Big Ben, mate.”

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ... read more

His body was later found at the bottom of Big Ben.

The british manufacturer says: During the renovation of the Big Ben, a worker fell down from the top of the tower, but his braces hitched into a ledge, so he survived. The british rubber industry is the best.
The american says: That is nothing. When the empire state building was built a worker al... read more

Johan Hallowed was a master of his craft. He made everything from grandfather clocks to pocket watches to wrist watches. He even helped in the restoration of Big Ben. He finds himself at the Pearly Gates and even St. Peter is a fan of Johan's work. But due to a mixup, Johan was sent to spend eterni... read more

The Frenchman sticks his hand out the window and says to the others, "We just flew over Paris."

The others ask him how he knows and he replied, "Well, when I stuck my hand out the window I touched the top of the Eiffel Tower."

They fly along for a while longer when the Englishman stick... read more

A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.

The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and te... read more

An American, a Englishman and a Russian are on a plane flying around.



Suddenly, the American puts his hand outside and exclaims: "Wonderful, the land of the free below us."

The Englishman and the Russion look at him and ask: "How do you possibly know?"

The American says:... read more