My girlfriend left me because of my terrible Arnie impersonations.
But she'll return.
Some Arnie jokes
My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger.
She'll be back.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7.
He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".
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A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to ma...
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.
Sly: “I wanna show the world that we’re more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical music and classical composers. I know you guys love that stuff too. What do you think? Will you help me make a movie about it and show the world how cultured we are?”
Bruce: “I cou...
What did Arnie say when asked about Windows 10?
I still love Vista baby.
Bill Gates met Arnold Schwarzenegger at a party.
He asked him if he had upgraded to Windows 10 yet. Big Arnie replied:
Ah still love Vista baby...
Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"
"I'll be Bach"
Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back to Austria for Easter.
When he returns to California his friend says to him, “Arnie, I hear you went back home to Austria for Easter. How was it?”
To which Arnie replies: “Oh it was terrible! My father he ruined the Easter Egg hunt, he put all of the eggs in awful places and nobody could find any eggs and quite g...
Schwarznegger is at the gym
Arnie is spottin a dude at the gym. The guy is clearly strugglin, so he tries to motivate him to do just 2 more reps.
For a sec his attention is diverted, and the guy who's lifting lies and says "Did it Arnie, 2 more reps was all i had in me".
Arnie, angry and not one to be fooled says...
As Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger had to attend many high society functions. One such function was a fund raiser which featured a symphony orchestra playing a medley of pieces by famous composers.
Arnie, as is well known, has only one preference when it comes to classical composers, but sat patiently during the performance.
There were selections by Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky and more.
The Governor began to get quite perturbed when, after over an hour and half, his favo...
Arnold Schwarzenegger woke up this morning with a sore head and a bad back...
... he put on his dressing gown and slippers, opened the door to his en suite shower and let out a sigh.
“Why is my shoauwer still broken?” He exclaimed. “The plumber was supposed to hef come last week.”
He made his way to the kitchen to fix himself some food. Opening the fridge, a put...
Van damme...
Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are at a bar, discussing which classical composer they would most rather be. "I'll be beethoven", says van damme. "Well in that case I'll be mozart" says Stallone. Arnie replies "I'll be Bach"
Action hero fancy dress ball...
Arnold Schwarznegger, Sly Stallone & Chuck Norris are invited to a ball where they must all go in fancy dress.
They decide to go as classical composers, so they head to the store to buy their costumes for the ball.
When in the store, Sly says: 'I'll dress as Mozart'
Chuck Sa...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
It’s 2015. Bill Clinton is whipping up celebrity endorsements for Hillary with a Halloween party. He invites his friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger and suggests they go as dead presidents for the media. “Too cliche” says Arnie. “What about dead musicians.” “Great idea. I’ll be Coltrane. What about you?”
“I’ll be Bach.”
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are reading a script at lunch...
It's for Stallone's new movie *The Composers*, about the descendants of famous European composers joining forces to fight terrorism. Stallone says he'll play Beethoven, "My theme will be ode to joy. But get this: Joy is the name of my shotgun."
"Nice," says Norris. "I'll be Mozart, and I'...
So, Moses and Jesus are playing golf ...
One day Moses and Jesus were playing golf. They were at the tee of a beautiful par 3, with a lake right in the middle of the fairway. Moses selects a 5 iron, tees-up his ball and swings. His ball sails very high and lands in the middle of the lake. He mutters to himself and tees-up a second ball, th...
Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.
Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.
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