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Astley Jokes

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection...

Except Up.
He’s never gonna give you Up.

Today I learned about the Astley paradox!

If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.

However, in doing so, he lets you down.

Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

I ran into Rick Astley today.

He borrowed my copy of Disney's "Up", but I doubt I'll ever see it again.

Poor Rick Astley

He must be really struggling with Lent.

Why do The Brit’s still use ‘u’ in words like “colour” and “armour”?

Because Rick Astley is British.

Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof

He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.

What is it called when you pretend to be Rick Astley?

Rickroll-play

Trying to play the new official Rick Astley boardgame.

But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”

Rick Astley Walks Into a Bar

I'd tell you what happened but I can't post YouTube links.

Rick Astley and James Blunt are in a bar having a pint

And they are talking about all the celebrities they knew :-

Rick Astley said "I met Yoko Ono in Soho once" but James had never met her before

James mentioned he was good friends with Carrie Fisher, unfortunately Rick had never met her

Rick Mentioned once going to dinner with ...

Rick Astley: What do you want for your birthday? ...

Wife: Pixar's “Up” on DVD.
Rick Astley: No.

Assistant to the President: Sir, there's a crisis - somehow, we only have one copy of Pixar's Up left in existence.

President: All right, find the person who currently owns it, and have him give it to me.

Assistant to the President: Well there's some bad news, sir ...

President: Bad news? Have him give me the DVD, I'll copy it and post it on the Internet, problem solved!

Assistant to the Pres...

I used to date Rick Astley.

I guess you could say that we’re no strangers to love.

Rick Astley’s guide to password management

* Never going to give you out
* Never going to write you down
* Never going to run around and reuse you

You walk into a bar and see Rick Astley sitting alone

You sit next to him and start talking

Eventually, the conversation leads to talk of your favorite Pixar movies

Rick tells you that his favorite of all time is Up, he even owns a physical copy of the movie with bonus features

You say that you've always wanted to see it but never ...

I didn't know what bad music was until i met Rick Astley

He was the one to introduce me to lil Pump

Apparently rick Astley is really stingy with his Disney DVD collection.

Yeah he’ll share toy story, but he’s never gonna give you Up.

Turns out having Rick Astley work at a video rental shop is a bad idea.

We had a lot of complaints of him never giving anyone Up.

Rick Astley would lend you his whole Pixar movie collection...

...because he's a nice guy. But he won't ask for them back because he knows they'll be Together Forever with You

Why do they spell it "honour" and "favour" in the United Kingdom?

Because Rick Astley is British.

Rick Astley is a bad Catholic

He won’t even give you up during Lent.

Did you know that Rick Astley only tunes his guitar up?

Because he never lets it down.

Why didn't rick astley help the victims of a building on fire?

He refused to let them down

I was phoned by Rick Astley, who asked me to borrow some Pixar DVD's...

I said "Fair enough You can have 'Toy Story', 'A Bug's Life' and 'Finding Nemo' but I'm never gonna give you 'Up'".

Did you know that Rick Astley is actually a very generous person and an extensive movie collector?

It's true! He'll actually let you have just about any movie in his collection, with only one exception: The Disney/Pixar movie "Up." This particular movie is a favorite of his and he keeps it on a shelf so high that you actually have to get a ladder and climb it just to reach the movie. Be carefu...

Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up

Did you guys hear that Rick Astley committed a crime that got him on death row?

He’s going to be XcQted.

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?

I"m never gonna run around and dessert you.

what's worse than being adopted?

finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.

Where is the best place to hide if you are running from the police

Rick astleys house he's never gonna give you up

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a bar in town for the first time

He buys a few drinks, one after another, and gets to talking to the bartender. After a while, he asks the bartender:

"If I show you something that you've never seen before, will you let me have my drinks for free this evening?"

The bartender thinks to himself, "well, I've seen pretty m...

The was a guy...

There was a guy, he was a very nice guy, he was very persistent; he never gave on on himself or anyone else. He kept his promises, he always followed through, he never let anyone down. Although he never got much exercise, he never went for a jog or anything, he never desert anyone and was always wit...

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