Did I tell you the story of Yogi developing a stutter?

It bears repeating.

Why didn’t they make two Yogi Bears?

Because they made a Boo-Boo

What did the yogi say when I asked her if she was leaving?

Nah, ah'ma stay.

A prince visited a famous Yogi

When the Prince walked up to the Yogi, He was meditating in a handstand pose. The prince felt that it was extremely rude that the man would not stand up and great him properly.

The prince said, “Sir, stand up greet me properly!”



“Namaste upside down” said the Yogi

What do you call a 747 full of meditating yogis?

An astral plane.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are looking to spice up their sex life

The husband comes home one day with a shopping bag from a costume shop. "I've got a surprise for you. I thought we could try a little role-playing tonight. I'll call you into the bedroom after I've changed."

The wife becomes excited as she waits to be summoned to an erotic night of love-makin...

What did the sleepy yogi say when he hit snooze?

Namaste in bed a bit longer.

Why does the yogi always meditate under the citrus tree?

It's a sublime spot

What's Yogi Bear's favorite ice cream?

Basket Robbins

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!

I'll see myself out...

My nanny once told me of an emotionally distant but insecure yogi who fell ill and subsequently developed bad breath.

It was a super callous fragile mystic down with halitosis.

Yogi Berra has officially gone home.

But he should have gone to 1st for the force out.

Rip yogi Berra.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Navy Rhyme

A Navy man, a war hero, attends a lunch at a Ladies’ Patriotic Society. Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. Then the ladies, who have been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy rhyme. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. But in place of each atrocious word, I will...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My take on a shaggy dog story

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint and sees a sign pinned up above the till - “talking cat, going cheap.”

He calls the barman over and asks him what the deal with the cat is and can he have a look at it. The man shrugs, goes into the back and returns with a mangy old Tom cat.

“Here ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wedgie I had during yoga class.

Shortly after I moved back to the city I wanted to start up yoga again. I had just come from the mall and bought these adorable little Victoria Secret panties that I had immediately put on. As soon as I sat down in the yoga studio I could start to feel them riding up. I was thinking “shit. How do I ...

Meditation

[A bit dry : p]

One day, as he did everyday an old yogi was meditating in a cave.

A hungry traveller passing by noticed him in the cave sitting by a fire.

The traveler hoping for a bite to eat shouts into the echoing cave "Hello there!!"

The yogi being very disciplined, k...

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How many?

How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo?

"What's a Matterbooboo?"

Nothing Yogi.

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