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Yogi Jokes

A yogi killed a man in the park today...

Allegedly the man wouldn't let the yogi use their favourite spot for their yoga session.

They're calling it pre-meditative murder.

Why is there only one Yogi Bear?

Because when they tried to create a second one, they made a Boo-Boo.

Why didn’t they make two Yogi Bears?

Because they made a Boo-Boo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This yogi in India claims he hasn’t gone to the bathroom in 76 years.

I think he’s full of shit…

A prince visited a famous Yogi

When the Prince walked up to the Yogi, He was meditating in a handstand pose. The prince felt that it was extremely rude that the man would not stand up and great him properly.

The prince said, “Sir, stand up greet me properly!”



“Namaste upside down” said the Yogi

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!

I'll see myself out...

Did I tell you the story of Yogi developing a stutter?

It bears repeating.

What did the yogi say when I asked her if she was leaving?

Nah, ah'ma stay.

Do you know why there was only 1 yogi bear?

Because somebody made a boo boo!!!

What's Yogi Bear's favorite ice cream?

Basket Robbins

What did the sleepy yogi say when he hit snooze?

Namaste in bed a bit longer.

Why does the yogi always meditate under the citrus tree?

It's a sublime spot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many?

How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo?

"What's a Matterbooboo?"

Nothing Yogi.

Meditation

[A bit dry : p]

One day, as he did everyday an old yogi was meditating in a cave.

A hungry traveller passing by noticed him in the cave sitting by a fire.

The traveler hoping for a bite to eat shouts into the echoing cave "Hello there!!"

The yogi being very disciplined, k...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wedgie I had during yoga class.

Shortly after I moved back to the city I wanted to start up yoga again. I had just come from the mall and bought these adorable little Victoria Secret panties that I had immediately put on. As soon as I sat down in the yoga studio I could start to feel them riding up. I was thinking “shit. How do I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My take on a shaggy dog story

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint and sees a sign pinned up above the till - “talking cat, going cheap.”

He calls the barman over and asks him what the deal with the cat is and can he have a look at it. The man shrugs, goes into the back and returns with a mangy old Tom cat.

“Here ...

My nanny once told me of an emotionally distant but insecure yogi who fell ill and subsequently developed bad breath.

It was a super callous fragile mystic down with halitosis.

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