Van Gogh Jokes

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: M... read more

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Forgot he can only hear half of what I'm saying

Van Stay

Ear goes.

You gonna eat that?

A spokesman for the group said, 'We will not rest until all 19th century painters switch to acrylics or watercolours.'

He had an eartight alibi

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime... read more

He said no thanks, I've got one 'ere.

He's a little sad, but only a little, for they barely knew each other. Then, a few days later, a package arrives. It contains his inheritance from the estate: A violin and a painting. He has no idea what to do with them. After pondering the matter, he takes them to an appraiser. Not too long later t... read more

A homeless man walks up to him and says,” Do you have a euro to spare ? Please I could really use it.”Van Gogh looks through his pocket and says,” I got one right ‘ere.”

He had the quality of lending an ear.

Good Ear, of course.

I just don't have the 'art to correct him.

Through careful studying of the building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings.

He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building.
... read more

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:

* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his ma... read more

Everything went perfectly, except he was captured sitting in his van with the paintings only 2 blocks from the museum, his van had run out of fuel!

When asked by the police how he could plan such a successful robbery and then be foiled by such a simple error, he replied...

"I had no ... read more

Earreconcilable differences

Because he heard left ear is the best medicine.

On the back, it'll be labeled "Ear-Regular."

... and find it very difficult to have a conversation.

His mate Gauguin walks in to the bar and says,
“ Hi Vinny, fancy a beer?”
Vincent says,
“ No thanks , I’ve got one ‘ere…”.

They were all ear-regular.

Sorry it was an arty joke.

Everything that he was told simply went in one ear and out the- oh wait a minute...

One bourbon
One scotch
And one ear

Now it's Vincent Van Gone.

Lend me your ears

Wipe away those ears.

Sadly, they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since h... read more

"Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."

"What?"

“You’ll have to speak up, I’ve only got one ear”

Whatever makes the van gogh..


-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as stupid as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.

A mastermind thief infiltrates The Louvre and steals several paintings. He loads them all into his van and drives off. A few blocks away, his van breaks down. When the police arrive on the scene, one of the officers asks the mastermind how something like this could happen if he was so smart. The mas... read more

So he googles mechanics in his area.

He stumbles upon this one called Vincent's Van Repair.

"Hmm, I've never heard of this one but they do on the spot repairs so it's probably my best bet"

He calls them the next morning and the mechanic comes to his house around 11am.

He ... read more

Because it makes their Van Gogh

Van Gogh

You’ll either be asking “Where’d the van go?” or “Where’d the Van Gogh go?”

They ran out of fuel halfway through their getaway, and were found two streets away. When they were interrogated, they said:"We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"

The Art Theif

A French man goes into the Louvre’s parking with his van. He gets out and goes inside. He sneaks pass guards, gets through barbed wire, avoids lasers and in front of him there is the Mona Lisa. He takes it and manages to get back to his van. When he goes into his van and leaves ... read more

He wanted everyone to look at his Van Gogh.

Many people saw his Van Gogh from the scene of the crime.

A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

You can't make your van gogh.

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.