Two Arm Jokes

Dont know who they actually belongs to but it freaks out the opponent whenever i take them out.

A vegatable

Occasionally a one armed man will also walk into a bar.

He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and do a lot of things that took two arms.

One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down when he saw a man skipping along, whistli... read more

... but I also have forearms

An old couple going doggy-style.

Uncles

Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers

"Dude, be carefull. The barkeeper is blonde and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also blonde and the reigning box champion of the city. And then there is Joe... he's just released from prison after he... read more

Thank god for that, it would be pretty difficult to make a chicken wrap with only one arm!

They see a man walking casually on the other side of the street. The first guard raises his rifle and shoots the pedestrian, killing him instantly.

The second guard says to the first, "What was that for?"

"He was out past curfew." Replied the first guard.

"What do you mean?" Sa... read more

The doctor comes in and informs him that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. Your son is just a head!

But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar an... read more

A little boy is born with a terrible birth defect - he has only a head, no torso, no limbs.

On his 21st birthday, his friends take him to the bar to celebrate. One of them pours his first beer down his throat - and poof! All of a sudden, a neck and torso pop out of his head.

His fri... read more

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

Two arms, Comrade.

Now his son his no ordinary man, he was born with only a head, no torso, no arms, and no legs. But his father loved him anyway, and raised him well.

When his son turns 18, the father decides to take him out to the pub for his first beer to celebrate.

He sits his son down on the bar a... read more

so, once there was a boy and he was born with no body, no arms, and no legs. One night, on his 18th birthday, his dad took him down to a bar and got him a drink. The boy took a sip and out popped his body. His dad was flabbergasted and urged him to take another sip. The boy took another sip and, sur... read more

Robber 2: Yes. The place has two armed guards.

Robber 1: So we are evenly matched, limb wise.

While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.

Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.

Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"

Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O... read more