UPJOKE
easellegstandcamera tripodturretbinocularschinaapertureenlargercarabinerweightlatinrackromanizationknee

Why did the photographer throw their tripod in the lake?

One of the legs was loose and they couldn't stand it anymore.

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family....

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."
"O...

My tripod is broken

I can't stand it

They call me The Tripod

Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?

Me: Let me unzip this and show you...

*opens camera case and takes really steady photo*

I absolutely hate it when my tripod loses a leg.

I can't stand it.

A calculus joke:

A 120 pound camera sits atop a tripod. How much force does each leg hold?

Whoops. Meant to type 130. Forgot that the camera adds 10 pounds.

Two legged tripods?

Can't stand them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a country with strict population growth rules.

The population was so low, the government had enacted a law that required all couples to have children within 5 years of their marriage. Should a couple fail to produce a child during this period, a government official would be sent to "get the job done".

Such was the situation of a couple, w...

The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"

I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"

She said, "Record it and watch it later."

You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…

Hipster filmographer

A wealthy businessman had found himself to be the subject of a documentary. For the first day of filming he was to meet the camera man at the airport where he would be departing for a lengthy business trip. When the camera man arrived, the businessman was taken aback to see a full blown hipster. D...

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon

Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful..

" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant,...

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