This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really..?" the photographer asked. "Well, good....

My tripod is broken

I can't stand it

They call me The Tripod

Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?

Me: Let me unzip this and show you...

*opens camera case and takes really steady photo*

I absolutely hate it when my tripod loses a leg.

I can't stand it.

Two legged tripods?

Can't stand them.

A calculus joke:

A 120 pound camera sits atop a tripod. How much force does each leg hold?

Whoops. Meant to type 130. Forgot that the camera adds 10 pounds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a country with strict population growth rules.

The population was so low, the government had enacted a law that required all couples to have children within 5 years of their marriage. Should a couple fail to produce a child during this period, a government official would be sent to "get the job done".

Such was the situation of a couple, w...

The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"

I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"

She said, "Record it and watch it later."

You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.