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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..."

*Poof* ... He disappears without a tres.

"Un, deux, trois, quatre", radioed the French ship...

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Won," radioed the American sub.

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says No Tres passing

3 Mexicans tried to cross the border,but only 2 got through.Why?

There was a sign that said no tres passing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Mexican women with three boobs?

Tres Leches

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

>!Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.!<

The Spanish assassin

There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.

One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,...

A Spanish magician is at a party

He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

How do '90s kids count to 6?

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

A Spaniard is counting small green vegetables...

"Uno pea, dos pea, tres pea, cuatro pea", and then he fainted.

The greatest magic trick

A world famous Hispanic magician walked on stage to thunderous applause from a large crowd. He announced to the audience that he would disappear before their very eyes before the count of three. He begins the count “Uno, Dos..” POOF! He disappeared without a Tres.

Why don’t illegal immigrants ever cross the border in groups of three?

Because of all the No “Tres”passing signs that are posted

My Spanish teacher quit her job in the middle of our numbers lesson

She left without a Tres

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water

They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux Trois". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. Af...

What do you call 3 Mexican guys walking through your property?

Tres passing.

A Spanish man is showing his friend his boats

He tells his friend he has a boat named uno, dos, tres, cuatro, and seis.

His friend asks what happened to the fifth one

The Spanish man says: Cinco!

What do you call three Mexicans illegally crossing the border?

_Tres_ passers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Latina woman with three boobs?

Tres leches.

We went to see a Mexican magician......

He told us that for his final act he would disappear. He lifted up a cloak to his waist. He proclaimed "uno, dos", flung his cloak up and was gone without a tres.

A man and his two amigos came to the gate to the park and then looked at the sign and sadly turned around.

It said "no tres passing".

Trump won the presidency and 1... 2... POOF!

The Mexicans were gone without a tres

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher is giving the 5-year-olds their first french lesson.

'Does anybody already know any french?' she asks the class.

One boy raises his hand.

'Ahhh, Tres bien. Comment t'appelle tu?' the teacher asks him,

'Shit fuck cuntingface,' the boy replied, 'Sorry I can't say much else, daddy only uses a few french words.'

What did the Mexican quarterback get arrested for?

Tres-passing

Did you hear about the Mexican Criminal trio?

They got away from the scene without a tres.

Did you ever hear of Juan the Magnificent?

Juan was just a young man growing up in rural Mexico. He felt he had little chance to grow up and do anything of importance or recognition. He'd grow up and work the land. The same as his father and his grandfather before him.


Until the day he saw the great magician Harry Houdini.

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