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Travel To Jokes

What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld?

A new bus.

I am going to travel to Prague.

Gotta Czech it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man and his boss have to travel to a city 500 miles away. Due to cost cutting measures put in place by the boss, they take the train instead of the flight which was four hours faster.

As they entered their train compartment, the young man and the boss found themselves opposite to a gorgeous twenty something girl and her sixty year old looking mother.

Within a few minutes, the young man and the girl start giving quick glances at each other. After twenty minutes or so, the ...

I'm going to travel to Prague

Once there, I will enter a bank, and cover the floor with trampolines.

They'll have to deal with a bunch of bouncing Czechs.

I decided to travel to the US.

At the Embassy for the visa interview...

Officer : Where to in the US?

Me : San Jose

Officer : It's pronounced as San Hosay. J is pronounced as H in the US.

Me : Oh, okay!

Officer : So how long do you plan to be in the US?

Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly.<...

Did you hear that fruit will never travel to Australia?

Yeah! Fruit won't, but veggie might!

Why did the Siamese twins travel to England?

So the other one could drive.

You know why Mary and Joseph had to travel to Bethlehem for that census?

Because he never entered her as his wife.

Why did the cow travel to the moon?

To checkout the Milky Way.

Two Newfoundlanders Travel to Toronto

Two Newfoundlanders, Jimmy and Dave, are out of work, so they decide to move to Toronto to find jobs. They scrounge up every last cent they have for the trip and find they have $1000 between them to get started.

As soon as they get to Toronto, they see a sign in a shop window that says "Suits...

I've always wanted to travel to Thailand

It's been on my Phuket-list for several years.

A foreign family is about to travel to america

The parents told the kids to say bye to the friends they will miss. The older son then threw himself down a flight of stairs, in the hospital, when he was asked why he did it, he said

"Just saying goodbye to free healthcare"

What happens when you travel to mount Rushmore

You will see a literal cliff face

Thor was bored with life on Asgard and one day decided travel to earth to entertain himself.

Whilst here he happened upon a beautiful maiden and the pair hooked up that evening and made love all night, with Thor slipping out in the early hours.

Back in Asgard Thor felt bad for the fair lady about slipping away never too be seen again and thought he at least owed it to her to explain...

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

I got a world map for my wall, I'm going to put pins in all the places I've traveled to ...

... but first, I have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

(credit to Mitch Hedberg, about 2003)

Travel to Mars

After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns...

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

“What are you reading, old man?” he asks.

“I’m learning Hebrew, comrade,” replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.”

“I’m learning Hebrew for when ...

You'll have to travel to Oxford

A bloke goes into the jobcentre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologists assistant, interested he goes to find out more..
'Can you give me some more details about this?' He said to the guy behind the desk.
The jobcentre guy shifts through his files and replies 'ah yes, I'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't black people travel to the past?

Because when you go back, you never go black

Why did the Karen travel to Bethlehem on Christmas Eve?

She wanted to speak to the manger!

How does Neutron travel to different countries?

Free of charge

Interviewer: Do you travel to Louisiana often?

Me: Only on a Cajun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nazi Germany sponsored a program for less fortunate kids to travel to the Far East.

it was called "youth in Asia".

An elderly couple had travelled to Jerusalem.

During their travel to Jerusalem, the wife had suddenly died of heart attack.

The doctor told the husband, "It will cost roughly $100,000 for you to bring your wife back to your own country and hold a funeral there or $100 dollars to hold a funeral here in Jerusalem. Which one do you chose?"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman has to travel to Pittsburg for work...

When he gets to the ticket line at the airport, he is caught by how beautiful, and voluptuous, the desk clerk is.
She asks “can I help you?”
And he stammers out “one picket to titsburg please!”
Embarrassed, he apologizes, corrects himself, and gets his ticket.
For the next three days he’...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off ...

There is a new reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world.

Unfortunately the finale is not a cliff hanger.

A German named Lars and a Korean named Wan-Wan travel to America.

As they’re walking the streets of New York, Lars gets hit by a car.

Wan-wan exclaims “Lars! Do I need to call the emergency!?!?”

“*Nein*, Wan-Wan.”

Why do the conjoined twins travel to London?

...so the other twin gets the chance to drive a car =(

A polish man gets interviewed because of his travel to America

The interviewer asks him: "Why did you travel to America?"

"I went to America to polish up my English", the man answered

The interviewer answers: "Your English is Polish enough"

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