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Tourette's Jokes

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Tourette's.

Took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her Tourette's.

Turns out she doesn't have tourettes.

I am a fucking cunt and she really does want me to fuck off.

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I've been buying birthday cards for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that cunts.

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A bloke with Tourette's Syndrome

This bloke with Tourette's Syndrome walks into the most exclusive restaurant in town.

'Where's the pissing, mother fucking manager, you cock sucking arsewipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters.

The waiter is taken-aback and replies, 'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from u...

What do you call an ISIS member with Tourette's?

A ticking time bomb.

Did you hear the one about the mute clock with Tourette's?

It ticks a lot but never talks.

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What do we want? A cure for Tourette's. When do we want it?

Cunt

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Tourette's convention rally

What do we want?!

A CURE FOR TOURETTE!!

When do we want it?!

CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!

How do you know if a deer has tourette's syndrome?

It has deer tics...

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An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets...

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window:
'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

"Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to hi...

My auntie has a traditional remedy for Tourette's.

She swears by it.

How did the doctor cure the woman with Tourette's?

Anti-bio-tics.

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What do you call a Russian with Tourette's syndrome?

Yukanol Fukov

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My wife went to see the doctor, as we thought she may have Tourette's

Turns out there's nothing wrong with her: I'm just a fucking cunt.

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I filled out a job application last week...

... and under disabilities I put narcolepsy and Tourette's syndrome.
So not only will I be able to sleep at work, but if someone tries to wake me up I can tell them to fuck off.

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Once upon a time there was a toad named Ian.

Ian had tourette's. His life's dream was to become a toad janitor. But every place he applied turn him down because he would cuss repeatedly as a result of his tourette's. Him saying cuss words all the time was distracting to the other employees.

Finally he saw there was an opening to be a ja...

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Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

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Job interview

At a recent job interview:

"What's your name?"

"Dave Fucking Cunting Smith"

"Do you suffer from Tourette's Dave"

"No. But the Vicar at the Christening did."

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A man parks his car in a 'disabled parking' spot when a traffic policeman shows up.

'Well well well sir,' says the policeman while getting his coupon book 'what is your handicap that allows you to park here?'

After a brief moment of thinking the man awnsers: 'Tourette's sydrome, Cocksucker!'

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Welcome to the Mental Health Helpline. Please listen carefully to the following options:

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please get someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you have Tourette's Syndrome, please say "CUNT!" after the tone.
* If you have sch...

I thought it was funny...

I asked a guy with Tourette's what made him tic... He didn't find the humor.

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Haiku of the week

"James, you have Tourette's."
"I'm afraid there is no cure."
"Fuck! Shit! Cunt!" said James.

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