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Tourette's Jokes

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Tourette's.

Took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her Tourette's.

Turns out she doesn't have tourettes.

I am a and she really does want me to off.

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I've been buying birthday cards for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that cunts.

What do you call an ISIS member with Tourette's?

A ticking time bomb.

Did you hear the one about the mute clock with Tourette's?

It ticks a lot but never talks.

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What do we want? A cure for Tourette's. When do we want it?

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Tourette's convention rally

What do we want?!

A CURE FOR TOURETTE!!

When do we want it?!

! ! !

How do you know if a deer has tourette's syndrome?

It has deer tics...

My auntie has a traditional remedy for Tourette's.

She swears by it.

How did the doctor cure the woman with Tourette's?

Anti-bio-tics.

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What do you call a Russian with Tourette's syndrome?

Yukanol Fukov

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My wife went to see the doctor, as we thought she may have Tourette's

Turns out there's nothing wrong with her: I'm just a .

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I filled out a job application last week...

... and under disabilities I put narcolepsy and Tourette's syndrome.
So not only will I be able to sleep at work, but if someone tries to wake me up I can tell them to off.

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Once upon a time there was a toad named Ian.

Ian had tourette's. His life's dream was to become a toad janitor. But every place he applied turn him down because he would cuss repeatedly as a result of his tourette's. Him saying cuss words all the time was distracting to the other employees.

Finally he saw there was an opening to be a ja...

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Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

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Job interview

At a recent job interview:

"What's your name?"

"Dave Cunting Smith"

"Do you suffer from Tourette's Dave"

"No. But the Vicar at the Christening did."

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A man parks his car in a 'disabled parking' spot when a traffic policeman shows up.

'Well well well sir,' says the policeman while getting his coupon book 'what is your handicap that allows you to park here?'

After a brief moment of thinking the man awnsers: 'Tourette's sydrome, !'

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Welcome to the Mental Health Helpline. Please listen carefully to the following options:

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please get someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you have Tourette's Syndrome, please say "!" after the tone.
* If you have sch...

I thought it was funny...

I asked a guy with Tourette's what made him tic... He didn't find the humor.

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Haiku of the week

"James, you have Tourette's."
"I'm afraid there is no cure."
"! ! !" said James.
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