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Tourettes Jokes

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At the Tourettes Syndrome Protest March

"Whadda we want?"

"A cure for Tourettes!"

"When do we want it?"

"Cunt!"

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Took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her tourettes.

Turns out she doesn't have tourettes.

I am a cunt and she really does want me to fuck off.

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Old Macdonald had tourettes

E I E I CUNT.

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The Tourettes Pianist.

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and ...

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I have tourettes

But I live in Australia so none of these cunts have a fucking clue

I got diagnosed with tourettes today

guess it's time to tic that off my to-do list.

Joined the Tourettes Society today ...

It only took a minute to swear me in

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What do you call a cow with tourettes?

Beef Jerky

The worst thing about having tourettes...

People are always expecting you to say something funny.

Jesus was filling in a form. The question was "Do you suffer from Tourettes?"

He wasn't sure whether to put a tic or a cross.

How does a dyslexic with tourettes pray?

He swears to Dog.

My friend has Tourettes.

He doesn't have a bank account.
He has a swear jar.

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What do you call a Russian with Tourettes Syndrome?

Yukanol Fukov

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What's the difference between an oyster salesman with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea?

Well, one shucks between fits...

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I grew up thinking my Dad had tourettes....

turns out he just genuinely thought I was a fucking cunt.

I once ate out a girl with Tourettes.

I kept on licking and she kept on ticking.

Trump is like a bird with Tourettes

He can't control his Tweets

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Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac with tourettes?

He was up all last night wondering if there is a cunt.

I just joined a Tourettes Club

took 5 hours to get sworn in...

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I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society.

It's the thought that cunts!

I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome...

I want to know what makes them tic.

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The job interviewer asked, "whats your full name?"

"It's Peter Fucking Bastard Piss Flaps Smith."

The interviewer asked me, "do you suffer from tourettes Peter?"

"No" I replied, "but the priest at my baptism did."

I was talking to a man with tourettes the other day and he just started shouting at me...

I don’t know what I said but something made him tick!

There's a French guy with tourettes syndrome who keeps yelling goodbye at random people.

There's much adieu about nothing.

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I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?”
I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

What do you call a T-Rex with tourettes?

*Dino-swore.*




I'm sorry.

Women say they want a man who speaks his mind...

But every guy I know with Tourettes is single.

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So a dude is visiting a group of engineers

the chief engineer greets him and gives him a tour of the facility.

"Right now we're building machinery for the military", says the chief engineer.

the guy sees an assault rifle mounted onto a complicated looking device and asks, "whats going on over here?"

the chief engineer re...

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Once upon a time there was a toad named Ian.

Ian had tourette's. His life's dream was to become a toad janitor. But every place he applied turn him down because he would cuss repeatedly as a result of his tourette's. Him saying cuss words all the time was distracting to the other employees.

Finally he saw there was an opening to be a ja...

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I am dreading the day when you no longer have to mask up in the supermarket.

Everyone will know I'm the cunt with the Tourettes

I think dyslexia is hilarious.

So is tourettes you funch of cucking sock buckers!

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Roses Are Red...

Violets are blue,

I have tourettes,

Cunt

I met an alien who couldn't stop swearing...

He was an Extra Tourettes-trial.

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