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The Holocaust Jokes

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[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?

Orange Jews from concentrate

What's the similarity between the moon landings and the holocaust?

They both use a lot of gas to send people far away

What's the difference between the Holocaust and the Boston Marathon Bombing?

The Boston Marathon Bombing ended a race.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust?

6 million jews.......

What's the difference between the Holocaust and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 75 years

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Did you hear about the Holocaust?

The Jews did Nazi that one coming.

The class is learning about the holocaust, when the teacher asks if anyone's grandparents died in the deathcamps. Little Billy puts his hand up.

"Oh... Class, let us hold a minute of silence for him. If it is not too indiscreet, how did he die?"

"Fell off a watchtower."

What's the difference between the holocaust and the excess fat under a woman's upper arms?

You can make a joke about the holocaust.

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Two Jews die in the holocaust and go to heaven.

Jew 1: *laughing* Remember when they made us stay outside and caused our toes to freeze and fall off?

Jew 2: *laughing his lungs out* oh yes! And remember how the gave us “coffee” that turned out to be coal mixed with oil?


The two laugh and laugh and God approaches


God: ...

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The Holocaust Wasn't That Bad

"The holocaust wasn't that bad."

"Of course it was!"

"I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."

"Why the clown?"

"See, no one cares about the Jews."

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I was disgusted when my buddy told me he had masturbated to the Holocaust movie, Schindler’s List, so I asked him how in the hell he could possibly have felt okay doing that.

He looked at me curiously and said, “What do you mean? There was that one shower scene.”

My grandpa let 200 people go from a concentration camp in the holocaust

He was the worst security guard ever

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What does having sex with me and the holocaust have in common?

There are people who still deny it ever happened.

When you see pictures of the Holocaust it’s really sad

But it’s even more depressing when you realize the camera adds 10 pounds

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A Jew and an American are sitting on a bus...

The Holocaust denier farts.

The Jew says, "That's gross!"

The Holocaust denier says, "What, a little gas never killed anyone."

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My Grandfather died in the concentration camps during the holocaust....

....poor bastard fell out of his gun tower.

[Tasteless] Lost my great uncle in the Holocaust

Dumbass fell off the guard tower.

Everyone keeps telling me that the holocaust happened..

But I don't know if it Israel.

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Hitler was a hero...

He single handedly ended the Holocaust, and killed one of the most evil people from history!

Whats worse than one bee sting?

Two bee stings


Whats worse than two bee stings?


The holocaust


Whats worse than the holocaust?




Three bee stings

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to Heaven.

Upon meeting God, he decides to tell a Holocaust joke.

After hearing it, God said "Hey, that's not funny."

To which the Holocaust survivor replied, "Well, I guess you had to be there."

What is "Worse then the Holocaust"?

Poor Grammar

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Two jews that died during the holocaust get to heaven.

One of them says to the other “remember how they strip us down in the snow and made us wait there for 5 hours?”

The other laughs “yeah! Remember how they took your twin kids and preformed lethal surgery on them?”

The first guy laughs again “yeah!”

The two keep laughing as God ap...

People act surprised when I tell them my grandfather survived the holocaust.

Most of the guards survived didn't they?

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What's the sexiest thing about the holocaust

The shower scenes

Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust?

They were star-crossed lovers.

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Two historians are discussing about the Holocaust

\- The holocaust wasn't that bad; says one of them.

\- Are you out of your mind?; the other one replies.

\- What if I were to kill 6 million Jews and one actress?

\- But why the actress?

\- See, nobody ever cares about the Jews.

People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust.

He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck.

I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...

My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.

My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.

Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man thats terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

Just because a lot of work went into it, doesn’t make it good.

Just look at the holocaust.

A Jewish Man, Killed in the Holocaust, Rises to Heaven. Once there, he Tells God a Holocaust Joke.

God contemplates the joke briefly before echoing out in a thunderous voice:

“THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

The man simply shrugs:

“I guess you had to be there.”

My Great Grandpa nearly died in the holocaust! He was innocently doing his job when he was attacked by an angry mob!

Turns out the gas chamber malfunctioned.

Reflections on the Jonestown massacre of 1978

As a society, we sometimes tell jokes about some of the most horrific events--mass murders, disasters, and so on. Often the jokes start within a day or two of the catastrophe, even before the dead can be counted. Perhaps we do it as a coping or healing mechanism, or perhaps it's our only extant type...

This old one always makes me laugh for the reaction

Joke teller: “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?”

Stooge: “Finding half a worm?”

Joke teller: “Well, I was going to say the holocaust, but okay”.

What's worse than 1 papercut? 2 papercuts. What's worse than 2 papercuts?

The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 3 papercuts.

A holocaust survivor goes to heaven...

A holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven and upon entry through the Pearly Gates, meets God and says, "hey, do you want to hear a Holocaust joke?"

To which God replies, "I guess, go ahead."

After the joke God responds, "that was not funny."

The Holocaust survivor answers in ...

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A woman went to a synagogue in Poland after the Holocaust to record the history that was nearly lost forever, where she found an unusual tradition she had never seen before.

At the synagogue, when they carried the Torah\*, they would bring it around to everyone who wanted to touch the Torah, which was normal. But when they brought the Torah down the center aisle, the carrier would get down on their knees and knee-walk all the way!

The woman had never heard of thi...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The holocaust

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I'd say Hitler was too dramatic.

I mean, the Holocaust was pretty overkill.

So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust...

I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.

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