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Televangelist Jokes

A Televangelist, a Rabbi and a Hindu were traveling together

They came across a farm and asked to spend the night there. The farmer said, “I only have room for two, someone will have to sleep in the barn.”

The Hindu volunteered. Moments later, there was a knock on the door. The Hindu said, “There is a cow in the barn. I can’t sleep on holy ground.” ...

A televangelist at a mega-church down south was on stage, collecting money from the faithful and promising them he could help anyone.

A young man left the audience and came up on the stage and asked the televangelist to pray for his hearing. The televangelist starting chanting and took the young man by his shoulders and shook him. Then he cupped his hands over the young man's ears and said some more incantations and finally shoute...

Did you hear that the televangelist got himself a puppy?

He taught it how to beg and heal.

A man visits a televangelist.

He asks him to help him with his hearing. The televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several minutes, screaming and shouting. After the violent gesture ends the televangelist looks at him and says, “How is your hearing?”

The man replies, “I don’t know yet. It...

Two Televangelists...

...Are talking to each other about how they decide how much of their weekly donations to give to God, and how much to keep for themselves.

First one says, "I have a circle drawn on my office floor. Every week, I gather all the money that was donated, throw it in the air, and everything that f...

The slogan of a televangelist

"God will grant you all the money I need"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hooker

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No hand-job i...

A Priest, a Preacher, and a Televangelist...

A Priest, a Preacher, and a televangelist were sitting around discussing how they divide the take from each collection.

The Priest said, "What I do is draw a line down the center of the room and then throw the money up in the air. Whatever lands on the left is God's, whatever lands on the rig...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hindu, a Jew and a televangelist...

A Hindu, a Jew, and a televangelist are driving down a desolate road late at night, when suddenly the car breaks down in front of a farm. They decide to see if the folks who live on the farm will let them sleep there for the night so they can call a tow truck in the morning.

They knock on th...

How do you hide a $100 bill from a televangelist

Place it in their bible, they'll never find it there

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hindu, a Jew, and a TV Preacher...

A Hindu, Jew, and televangelist are traveling together when it starts getting dark. They see a ranch in the distance and decide to ask the rancher if they can spend the night.

They knock at the door. "Do you mind if we sleep in your barn tonight?"

"Well sure but you don't all have to....

Robert asks a televangelist to pray for his hearing

After five minutes of violent shaking and trying to push the man backwards, the televangelist inquires Robert on the state of his hearing, to which he replies "I don't know, my hearing isn't until Tuesday at the courthouse."

Praying hands

In Tulsa, OK, on the campus of Oral Roberts University (Oral Roberts was one of those famous money hungry televangelists) there is a giant statue of a set of praying hands. It was discovered one day that they had broken apart and separated. They had construction engineers, all kinds of equipment, ex...

Robert goes down to the mega church on Sunday.

He waits in line for his turn and asked the televangelist to pray for his hearing. After 3 minutes of violent shaking of his head by his ears and trying to push him backwards the preacher asks, "hows your hearing?" Then Robert replies " well my hearing is not until Wednesday at the courthouse".

A Russian spy, a Klansman, and televangelist walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."

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