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Teabag Jokes

What's the difference between a teabag and the German national team?

The teabag stays in the cup longer

What language do male teabags speak?

Hebrew

The female version of teabagging

Is called a Flapuccino

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Two pilots

Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit while a stewardess enters. She asks if they want coffee or tea, but both pilots ignore her.

She then asks "what's the difference between a cockpit and a condom?" The captain looks over his shoulder, not saying anything. She continues: "A cockpit contains ...

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Just tried my new Viagra based teabags.

Didn't do much in the bedroom but I left the biscuits in all day and they didn't go soft!

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What is the difference between a teabag and a ballsack?

You don't know? I'm never coming over for a cup of tea at your place then!

You teabag

But Chuck Norris potato sacks

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A vampire walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "What will you have?"

Vampire says, "A cup of hot water."

The bartender asks, "Do you want any teabags with that?"

The vampire replies as he proceeds to pull out a bloody tampon, "No thanks, I brought my own."

My mate just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth and fill me with boiling water.

He must think I'm some kind of mug.

Valetine's in 2022

Roses are red, nuts are brown, skirts go up, pants go down.

Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in.

The longer it's in, the stronger it gets, it goes in dry and comes out wet.

It comes out dripping, and starts to sag, it's not what you think......

Its a t...

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Fell asleep at a house party last night and someone put a teabag in my mouth, I went fucking mental...

No one treats me like a mug

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A Vampire walks into a Bar

and asks for a pint of blood. The Barman says "we don't serve blood", so the Vampire orders a Guinness, and sits down.
Another Vampire enters the bar,and proceeds to the counter. He orders a pint of blood,is told the same,"we don't serve blood!!", so orders a Guinness, and sits next to the first ...

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[OC] My wife likes things done her way and her way only

When I make her a cup of tea I have to use the same type of tea, the water needs to be exactly 86 degrees Celsius, I have to put exactly 1 and a half grams of sugar in before the teabag goes in, stir it six times to the left and once to the right and then add 4 teaspoons of skimmed milk.

If I...

When I were a lad my mother would send me down the shops with a pound and I'd come back with teabags, a sack of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, and a dozen eggs. You can't do that nowadays....

...Too many damn security cameras.

A group of adventurers embarks on a quest

"DragonFlameKing", who is the highest level in the party, gathers the others before they begin the quest to discuss strategies and check their supplies.

-Alright, gear and equipments look fine so hear me out for a little bit. This quest is not too demanding but it's still hard. I am a Juggern...

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Pint of blood please....

A Vampire walks into a bar and asks for a pint of Blood. The Bartender explains that this is a regular bar and they only sell alcohol, so he offers the Vampire a whiskey instead.

Another vampire walks into the bar and asks for a pint of Blood. The bartender explains again that they dont sell ...

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An Englishmen, a Mexican and an American...

are all in a hot air balloon. The Englishman throws a teabag out of the balloon and the Mexican says "why did you do that?"
"We have too many of those in my country" replies the Englishmen. The Mexican then decides to throw a burrito out of the balloon and the American says "why would you do suc...

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My wife doesn't throw her used tampons away.

She's sells them to vampires as teabags.

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A boy is at school, and they start the day by telling riddles

The boy says: it goes in, it goes out! The teacher becomes red and angry. Get out! The teacher said. So the boy goes onto the hallway. There he meets the principle, who asks him what he is doing there. I got send out of class, because I asked: it goes in, it goes out! The principal get angry, and sa...

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