UPJOKE
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Stop Work Jokes

When you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils.

They dilate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife complains to me about constantly being sexually harassed at work​

I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office

Why did the rocket scientist stop working a project?

He had no comet-ment.

Why did the old car with bald tires stop working?

It was re-tired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why'd Batman stop working with his first partner?

He was too much of a dick.

My husband wants me to stop working on my flamingo impression.

I had to put my foot down.

On New Year's Eve back in 1999, a friend bet me a couple grand that computers were going to stop working

"Why $2k?" I asked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Broke in a brothel

A young man turns 18 and decides to go to the local brothel for his first adult encounter. When he arrives, the madame meets him in the parlor and explains how things work. He settles upon what he wants and asks the price. The madame informs him it will cost him $100 for his requested services. He l...

Everyday at 2pm most workers at a factory stopped working and went drinking at a bar.

Finally Billy asked what's going on? They told him everyday at 1:45 the boss leaves and comes back at 4:45, so the workers take advantage and have some fun at the bar, they comeback before the boss does, he never finds out about it. The next day like clockwork 1:45 the boss leaves and 2pm the worker...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A villager had a small penis and hated it...

One day, he decided he's had enough of his pitiful manhood and goes to see the village elder.

The elder referred him to a shaman living in the center of a village, so he went to see the shaman. When he got there, he told the shaman about his small penis.

The shaman nodded his head, and...

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