UPJOKE
led zeppelin ivrobert plantrecorderled zeppelinempyreanjimmy pagehard rockrolling stonearpeggiojohn paul jonesatlantic recordsspiritempyrealetheranthem

There's a highway to hell but a stairway to heaven.

Says a lot about the expected traffic

There's a Stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell

but I don't care because maaaybeee I'm gonna Live Forever ;)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead going up a stairway to heaven

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are waiting at the pearly gates. God then says to them "Normally you girls wouldn't be let in, but I'm in a good mood today. In front of you there is staircase of exactly a thousand steps. Every time you take a step up, I will tell you a joke. If you make it all t...

Three women at the Stairway to Heaven

Three women(brunette, redhead, blonde) all die, and find themselves at the foot of the Stairway to Heaven.

They are visited by an angel, who says, “For each step on the Stairway you take, you will hear a joke. If you do not laugh, you may continue; however, if you DO laugh, you must stop and...

Why did Jeffrey Epstein love Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven?

...Cause it's in A minor.

How many guitarist does it take to play stairway to heaven?

Apparently all of them

Stairway to Heaven

A very sad song for the handicapped.

I don't like the song Stairway To Heaven

because it implies that heaven is not wheelchair accessible.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette die and go to heaven...

There they are greeted by St. Peter who looks at them grimly.

"Unfortunately, heaven is quite full at the moment so you must all undergo a test to prove your worth. Before you all is the stairway to heaven totalling one thousand steps. On each step I will tell you a joke, they will get progre...

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawking.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.

Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,

there is a stairway to heaven.

Why couldn’t Stephen Hawking get into heaven?

Because it’s a stairway to heaven.

Buying a stairway to heaven

A priest dies and finds himself in a long line for the pearly gates. To his right he notices another line processing souls much faster than his line. Every once in a while a lawyer or IRS agent passes him in the line to his right. After what seems like an eternity he gets to the front of his line an...

A guy is driving along when he spots a gypsies caravan on the side of the road with a sign saying, "readings $10 per person".

He pulls over thinking this could be a laugh, and enters the caravan.

The gypsy immediately grabs his hands, looks at them for a couple of seconds and looks up into the guys eyes.

She says, "Thriller, pretty woman, when doves cry ,stairway to heaven."

"wow", said the guy, "tho...

A bar owner is looking for some new musical acts to spice up the ambiance of his establishment.

He goes online, trying to find some local up-and-coming bands. He finds a couple of okay options: some country, some rap, some metal… Nothing really sticks out as the next big thing to him though. He keeps at it for an entire weekend, struggling to find something he really likes.

He then stum...

An argument in a bar

There are two men in a bar. One of them happens to be a paraplegic in a wheelchair.

An argument begins between the two men and gets heated and one man punches the man in the wheelchair knocking him down. The man who was in the wheelchair looks up at the man who knocked him down and responds...

my from 10y daughter. so proud!

Yo mama is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven!

Yo mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his fingers, only half of her dissappeared!

So a man dies...

and walks up the stairway to heaven and meets St.Peter, he asks if he's ever cheated on his wife, the man truthfully replies "Never, I love my wife!" and St. Peter gives him a Roles Royce to drive around heaven. The next guy comes and St.Peter asks him the same thing, the man responds with "I did on...

A couple go to a bar during karaoke night...

and they hear a man sing to most beautiful cover of Stairway to Heaven they had ever heard. Since they were planning their wedding at this time, they approach the man after his performance.

"Wow, that was an amazing cover! Would you like to come perform at the reception of our wedding?" they...

Joe Biden's Least Favorite Song?

Stairway to Heaven

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are travelling home on Christmas day together

As they round a corner their car goes head on into a tree and the three men are instantly killed. All three men arrive at the pearly gates at the same time and stand in a long queue waiting to receive St Peter’s judgement. While waiting, one of the men points ahead to front of the queue after notici...

God doesn't like fat people

That's why there's a stairway to heaven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing at the pearly gates.

Jesus says, "Congratulations, you've all made it to heaven. However, God decided to replace the stairway to heaven with a 100-mile highway. How loyal you were to your spouse in your life decides the quality of the vehicle you get."

The first man walks up to Jesus. He says, "I was completely l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] My buddy and I were out fishing, when suddenly our boat sank

We both drowned, and I woke up in hell. I see a giant creature slowly walking towards me, when I realize it's the devil himself.

"Welcome to hell!" he yells at me, while guiding me along a long corridor.

"What the hell Satan, why did I end up down here?!" I yelled at him.

"I've...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 dead men

(Note: buckel the fuck up because this is a long one)

There are three dead men next to each other on the stairway to heaven. They decide to all share their stories on how they died, one man goes first.

"I live on the 22nd floor on a 30 floor building. I had suspected my wife had been c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is looking around a pet store, when he comes across an octopus on sale for $10,000.

He asks the store owner why the octopus is so expensive to which the owner replies, “oh thats no ordinary octopus. He’s special.” He puts a guitar in front of the octopus and the octopus continues get on top of it and use his tentacles to play Stairway to Heaven in its entirety. The man is dumbfound...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.