Smooth Criminal Jokes

Or a smooth criminal

Turns out I’m not such a Smooth Criminal

A Smooth Criminal.

... Police looking for a smooth criminal

You are walking home at midnight and you hear from a far distance ₕₑₑ_ₕₑₑ you get a bit spooked and start walking faster. You can see your house in the distance but you hear it closer hee-hee u start running. As you are opening your door you hear behind you HEE-HEE. YOU RUN INTO THE HOUSE YOU LOCK Y... read more

Among the items that have been stolen are her jewelry, money, and her collection of expensive lotions. Police come to file a report and ask her if she would possibly know of any suspects. She responds "No officer, I have no idea of who would do this. But whoever it is is one smooth criminal."

Woman: Oh yes, officer. I'm certain it was that man on the TV who hijacked that truck full of electric razors.

Police Officer: Ma'am, I'm afraid you been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth criminal.

CCTV footage shows a suspect moonwalking out carrying a large amount of moisturising cream.

The officer at the scene told the shop owner "You've been struck by, a smooth criminal".

I confronted him but he punched me in the stomach then smacked me across the face. While I lay on the ground he stole my wallet, my phone, and then walked out with my TV.

I didn't manage to scratch him or take a photo but rang the police anyway in the hope they'd at least be able to find a... read more

I was walking along the street when some dude punched me in the back of the head and stole my wallet. I chased him down into an alley with a dead end, then much to my surprise he stripped completely naked and covered himself in baby oil, I couldn't grab hold of his arm at all. He ran full pelt into ... read more