A Minor Jokes - 53 Hilarious A Minor Jokes

I hit a minor for the first time today

I think I will like playing the guitar

I despise it when a couple has a minor quarrel and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to "single.”

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to "orphan."

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Adulthood gives you 4 rights that you don't enjoy as a minor.

The powers are:

1. The right to drink
2. The right to drive
3. The right to vote
4. The right to fuck

But the catch is that you can only legally exercise one right at a time.

Drinking while driving, illegal.
Voting while fucking, DEFINITELY illegal.

Let's try ...

My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time

But they keep going on about how he can do what he wants in his own living room.

A minor league baseball pitcher visits the baseball field the day before the big game

Wanting to get a feel for it, he goes alone and sees a horse near the dugout that seems to be wearing the hat and jersey of the opposing team he'll be playing against the next day. Surprised, he laughs and wonders if this is supposed the opposing team's mascot. He approaches the horse to pet it.
...

How many cops does it take to push a minority down the stairs?

None, "He fell"

Doctor- Calm down alex, it's just a minor operation.

Patient- thank you, but I am not Alex.

Doctor- I am.

If anyone can teach me a chord that has a root, a minor third, and a perfect fifth

send me a Dm

A man is involved in a minor car accident and starts screaming and shouting like a baby

A cop approaches the car and says: "Sir, the ambulance is on its way. Your girlfriend has blood on her face, yet she sits there patiently. You appear to be fine, why are you crying so loud?"
The man replies: "Check what's in her mouth!"

A cyclist throws in the towel halfway through the Tour de France. Seconds later a minor avalanche kills the three teammates he was riding next to.

Survival of Defeatist

Two cars get into a minor crash, the cars a bit dented, the drivers completely fine...

The Pope gets out of one car and a rabbi gets out of the other. They are tolerant, cultured people and so there is no fight, no cussing.

"God giveth, God taketh away", the Pope says.

"Things come and things go", the ~~rabbit~~ rabbi replies and asks, "Shall we have a drink over our mis...

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How do you know if you've had a minor stroke ?

You have jizz in your belly button.

How do you know if you've had a major stroke?

You have jizz on the ceiling.

Today I popped a G string while fingering a minor.

I'm going to the violin repair shop tomorrow.

Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens

If I sell an E-Cigarette to a minor.

Is that considered statutory vape?

What do you call a dentist who’s just had a minor car accident?

Dent-ist

Doctor: Calm down David ! It’s just a minor surgery !

Patient: Doctor, I’m not David.

Doctor: I know that, I was talking to myself.

I had a minor accident at work...

I won't go into details, but it affected my eyes.

The left one is okay, but the other one actually suffered enough trauma to where it popped out. It was "unsalvageable", doctors said.

When they broke the news, I couldn't help but get emotional.

I knew I'd never see right again.

What do you get when a piano falls on top of a minor?

A flat minor

A mixed race man auditioned for the main part in a play, but he ended up only getting a minor role

He was half cast

I’m selling an almost brand new iPhone X with a minor issue for $50

Issue: the owner is calling

I learned a new guitar fingering technique and used it on A minor

Today I got sent to prison

Why was the piano teacher arrested?

He kept fingering A minor.

What did the band director do to the kid who played in A minor?

He had him arrested.

Sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and many hours of hard work, one of my colleagues was struck off today due to a minor indiscretion....

He slept with one of his patients. Even though they were good friends, he is no longer allowed to work in the profession he has loved all this time. Such a shame as he is a genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet...

"You just need to relax Steve, it's just a minor surgery, it happens everyday with no issues" the surgeon said

The patient replies "But my name isn't Steve"

Nervously, the surgeon replies "But my name is"

That's the 10th cavity search I've preformed on a minor just today!

Busy day for a dentist!

A good friend of mine has been fired for a minor indiscretion after 7 years of medical school.

He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession.

What a waste of time, money, and effort. He's still paying back his college loans. Just goes to show that one tiny mistake can ruin your life. My thoughts to him and his family.

He really is a good man, and a b...

United States once again votes for a minority President!

Donald J Trump is believed to be the first orange President to be elected in the history of the United States.

Can anyone teach me how to finger a minor?

I need to work on my guitar skills.

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. So D comes in and heads for the bathr...

A music note walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Sorry, you're A Minor, we can't serve you."

When Jeffrey Epstein was in prison, other inmates asked him what he was in for...

"nothing much, just a minor problem"

Got prescribed a new medicine for a minor condition a few weeks ago and the last few days every time I walk by an area with dirt or grass I zoom in a worm. Like (almost) every time--I don't know if it's some kind of weird worm bloom in my area or if I'm developing some kind of super vision

Should have read the side effects of the new medicine... it can cause bird vision.

What's the difference between pop punk and hardcore punk?

A hardcore band is a Minor Threat. A pop punk band is a threat to minors.

whats something only a musician can do?

Finger A minor

The engine on the airplane sputters to a stop

The captain comes over the intercom.
"Attention passengers we've had a minor problem with one of our engines but we have three more and will only be a little late arriving at our destination".
A short while later another engine grinds to a halt with a small train of smoke coming from it. Again...

What do you call an annoying teenager?

A minor inconvenience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did the man with a tiny penis die from masturbation?

He had a minor stroke

So Prince Andrew is missing the celebrations due to Covid

A spokeman has said he just had a minor tickle.

What’s The Difference Between A Pianist And A Pope.

The Pianist Doesn’t Get Arrested For Fingering A Minor

Why did the guitarist get thrown in jail?

He was caught fingering A Minor.

What is a discord moderator’s favorite musical chord?

A minor

TIL The higher you drop a piano, the higher the note that plays when the piano hits the ground

For example, drop it all the way down a mine shaft and it'll hit A minor

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Long Covid (NSFW)

A guy goes into the Doctor's office and says, "Ya know doc, I think I might have long Covid." The doc asks, "How so?" And the guy says, "Well, you know, I tested positive over 3 weeks ago. I'm still congested, I have a minor sore throat, and I'm really fatigued." He pauses while the doc scribbles...

Getting caught dating someone underage isn't a big problem.

It's a minor problem.

Most people don't know Matt Gatez is actually quite an accomplished pianist.

Most of his pieces are in A minor.

What is the holiest chord to play?

The G sus although most priests prefer A minor

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he says to his wife.

"No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies.

Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
...

Police pulled McConnell over

when they heard he was a minority leader.

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

What is a priest's favourite musical note?

A minor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a teacher was in a coma.

One day a teacher was in a coma. He had to have a substitute take over his position for a while. The substitute was so annoying. He would always wear clothes with jokes on them. They were almost always the same jokes, occasionally with a minor difference. On very rare occasions, there would be new a...

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