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Sleepwalk Jokes

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ catholic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sleepwalker walks into a bar

A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut. "Holy crap! That's Bob, and I think he's sleep walking. Heck, he's sleep running!" the waitress exclaims to the bartender. "He sure is fast asleep," the bartender comments.

Some nights when I’m sleepwalking I’ll wander into the kitchen and start raiding the fridge.

Must be my autonomnomnomic system kicking in.

What happened to the Jewish sleepwalker?

He ‘schlept’.

A dog sleepwalks into a bar . . .

He tells the bartender “ZZZZ I’m a cat ZZZZ I’m a cat.” The bartender says “Yes sir you are.” The sleepwalking dog leaves and a patron says “Why did you agree with him? That dog’s not a cat!!”
The bartender replies “You gotta let sleeping dogs lie.”

Recently decided to start sleepwalking

So far so good, it's been a walk in the dark

say what you want about sleepwalkers...

At least they always follow their dreams.

The local minister approaches a lady following the service, and remarks, "I couldn't help but notice that your husband left my sermon mid-way today."

To which the lady responds with a shrug, "Please don't take it to heart, Reverend. He's been sleepwalking for years."

A father gets a phone call from his son's teacher

A father is at work when he gets a call from his son's teacher.
"Hello Mr. Johnson, I was in the middle of a lecture today when your son just got up and left the room without a word. I'm very worried about him, is he alright?"

The father just laughed and said "oh you have nothing to worry ...

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