Me playing basketball is like me playing pool

I only make shots for the wrong team

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

One of my favourite jokes from one of my favourite movies, Desperado. Originally delivered by my favourite director, Quentin Tarantino

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says...

Customizable joke to make fun of any town

A little guy walks into a bar in <insert town> and says to the bartender, "You want to hear a <insert town> joke?

The bartender says, "Before you start, buddy, I want you to know that I am 6'2", 210 pounds and I am a native of <insert town>. See that guy coming out of the b...

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Guy tells hours wife he's going out for cigarettes...

He gets his smokes and waiting to pay when the woman in front of him turns and says, "I just broke up with my boyfriend...I could use some company..."
The dude mulls it over and decides to go home with her. They have sex and he falls asleep... At 3AM, he wakes in a panic knowing his wife is going...

Blind guy walks into a bar. He sits down, orders a beer and after a while asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blonde joke.

The barkeep replies, "Before you say anything else, you should probably know that I'm a blonde. So is the woman sitting next to you. There are also a couple of blondes playing pool behind you, one of them is twice your size. So, you still wanna tell the joke?" The blind guy pauses for a second, then...

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My doctor asked me how my sex life is with Erectile Dysfunction

I replied, β€œEver try playing pool with a rope?”

A guy is laying in bed with his mistress...

- Shouldn't your husband be coming soon? Cause I'd rather not see him, he's my best friend after all...
- Don't worry, he won't be here before an hour.

At that moment, the phone rings. The woman answers : "Hi honey. Ok honey, yes honey. Bye Honey"

She hangs up and turns towards her ...

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey

He doesn't have any money so he decides to make a bet. "I bet anyone here, drinks for the night, that my monkey can eat anything you give him." A guy playing pool decides to take the bet and hands the monkey the eight ball from the table. The monkey looks at the ball for a second then swallows it wh...

A blind man walks into a bar...

...and after managing to find himself an empty seat at the bar he orders a pint.

Bartender fills the pint and as it is being placed in front of the blind man says, "hey Bartender, wanna hear a dumb blonde girl joke?"

Bar goes silent.

"Hey man," the Bartender says, "you're blind ...

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Did you hear about the morgue operator who was stealing testicles?

Eight balls, coroners pocket.


(We were playing pool)

Fella rescued a damsel in distress.

Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized...

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

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Never lie to your wife..

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.

He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.
At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.
They have a couple of beers and one thing leads...

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