What do I have if I have $15 in one pocket and $20 in the other

Somebody else’s pants on

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you do with a rattle snake in one pocket and a condom with a hole in it in the other one.

Don't fuck with either one of them.

If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have?

Someone else's pants on.

My grandfathers favorite joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homeless man walks up to a swanky restaurant (long)

He says to the maitre d' 'I'm sorry to bother you but I'm homeless and haven't eaten all day. The smell of food from your kitchen is amazing, would I be able to have dinner here tonight for free?'

Moved though he is, the maitre d' replies that he is sorry and he can't give out free food. 'But...

Yo momma so fat

When she moves her phone from one pocket to another, it changes network!

A man becomes marooned on a deserted island...

He's learned how to survive and manages to keep up the routine for 10 years. One day while sitting on the beach a gorgeous woman walks out of the waves in full scuba gear. He runs up to her ecstatic to see another human face. He is still in disbelief when he says, "Are... are you real?" She nods...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.