Pearly White Jokes

God looks down on him and speaks.

“We don’t know of anything particularily good or bad you have done in your lifetime, so it is up to you to tell us a story that will persuade us in a certain direction whether it be heaven or hell.”

The man looks up shakingly and responds with a story... read more

He's standing there, knocking on the pearly gates, but unfortunately for him St Peter's on his lunch break. However, it just so happens that after a little while Jesus passes by. Being the helpful sort, he goes up to the gates and asks if he can help.

"Yes," says the old man, "I've just died ... read more

3 blondes die and go to heaven. Before they can pass through the pearly white gates, they must climb 100 steps, and each step has a old man with a joke. If they laugh, they get sent to hell. They get onto the first step, and the old man tells the joke. The first blonde laughs, and is sent to hell. T... read more

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly white gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,
"What are those clocks for?"
St. Peter Answered "Those are lie clocks, everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you lie your clock will move."
"Oh" said the man, "Whose cloc... read more

My mom told me this awhile back, it made me laugh so I thought I would share.

A zebra had died and when he got to the pearly white gates of heaven, he was greeted by Saint Peter.
"Welcome to Heaven." said Saint peter.

"Wow, so this is Heaven huh? Its beautiful!" said the zebra.
<... read more

An old pub had a dog called Rover, who all the patrons loved. Unfortunately, one day Rover passed away. To honour the passing of their beloved dog, they cut off his tail and pinned it above the fireplace.

With this, Rover went up to doggy heaven where he was met at the pearly white gates by S... read more

Three men die and arrive at the pearly white gates of heaven. St. Paul says, “Depending on how loyal you were to your wife you will be awarded a vehicle.” The first man steps up and says, “I have been with my wife for 15 years and I cheated on her 4 times.” So doing what he said, St. Paul gives him ... read more

So three Nuns await at the pearly white gates to get into heaven. St. Peter tells them that they must each answer one question each correctly before being allowed in.

St. Peter: First nun, your question is, who was the first man on the planet?

First Nun: Oh that's an easy one, Adam!... read more