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Outgo Jokes

Q: How do you recognize an outgoing engineer?

A: When he talks, he stares at *your* shoes.

I'm an outgoing diet-communist

A socia-Lite, if you will.

I checked my call history and it said all the recent ones were Outgoing.

I thought I'd been a little shy.

A newly hired operations manager spends a week with the outgoing operations manager in order to learn his new duties and responsibilities.

As the outgoing manager gets ready to leave for good, he tells the new manager that he has placed three numbered envelopes in the top drawer of the desk. He tells the new manager that each time he runs into a crisis that he cannot solve to open an envelope, starting with the first one, and follow th...

When Putin began his first term in office…

When Putin began his first term in office in 1999, he asked the then outgoing president Boris Yeltsin if he had any advice for him since he, Putin had no prior experience in politics.


Yeltsin reportedly handed him two envelopes and said, if things go bad, open the first envelope. If thing...

After the losing party refuses to accept election results, a country is teetering on the edge of a civil war.

Armed insurgents invade the capitol, threaten violence and are ultimately overpowered. But intelligence shows that they may be planning another attack.

The country’s leaders ask for advice in how to handle the violence.

The winning party yells “Impeach the outgoing president during...

Why did the motivational speaker have a shirt made of stamps?

Because he is an outgoing male.

A struggling corporation fires its CEO and hires a new one. (Oldie but goodie)

The outgoing CEO has a meeting with the new CEO and tells him: "Behind the painting on the wall is a safe. There are three numbered envelopes in the safe. If you find yourself in trouble, and fear for your job, open the first one. The next time you're trouble, open the second, and so on. Do not open...

I feel bad for my mail man and hope he finds a boyfriend soon

He doesn't seem too picky or anything, he's just looking for any outgoing male.

Jesus was walking through town one day

When he crossed paths with a Roman soldier. Feeling outgoing, Jesus put his hand up for a hi-five while passing by.

The Roman soldier had ill feelings towards Jesus' teachings and following. He couldn't stand the idea of supporting such a character so he simply grunted and ignored Jesus.
<...

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A woman went to a psychiatrist

Woman : I don't know why everyone things I want to have sex with them, I am just a normal friendly outgoing girl, I like to hang out with new people. I'm not sure if I get too friendly with them.

Psychiatrist : Ma'am you need to get off my lap.

What do you call mail that likes to have fun?

Outgoing mail.

So, a blonde and a brunette are at the mall...

and they see this really good looking guy. Being very outgoing girls they strike up a conversation. After they part ways, the blonde noticed that he had really bad dandruff.
"Yeah, we should give him Head & Shoulders." To which the blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"

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Alvin was in prison (long)

He knew that all incoming and outgoing mail is screened. Alvin got a letter from his wife that said "Is it the right time to plant potatoes?"
Alvin sent a letter back: "Do not, under any circumstances, dig up the old garden, that is where I hid the bank money"
Two weeks later his wife wrote...

A couple of hippies are sitting on a park bench...

...when a pair of nuns walks by, one of them on crutches and with most of her leg in a cast. The more outgoing of the two hippies asks, "Oh man! What happened? Are you okay?"

The hobbling nun responds, "Yes, my son. I slipped and fell in the bathtub and broke my tibia. The doctor says I'...

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My old man always told me to take the lead

I was never the brighest kid in class, i always saw myself as the silent type who sat silently in the back of the class. Maybe there was a reason for that, I always loved to look at myself as the mysterious type of person.
During my years of highschool, i never had a girlfriend, dont really know ...

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Death awaits

4 friends are hanging out at an abandon hospital. Their names are Eric, David, Stacy, and Mohammad. Eric is an outgoing guy who will often spend his weekends stunt driving. David just got out of basic training, Stacy is a professional swimmer, and Mohammad makes coffins for a living, and in his free...

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