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Ous Jokes

Trump jokes are hilarious...

Until you realize they're not jokes.

Fog as thick as pea soup.

There was a dense summer fog and the officer on the bridge was becoming more and more exasperated.

As he leaned over the side of the bridge trying to pierce the gloom, he sees a hazy figure leaning on a rail a few yards from his ship.

He almost choked.

"What do you think you're ...

Why are pot smokers always asking "What?"

They're doobie-ous.

The Grand Canyon is so beautiful

Or should I say gorge-ous!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Dr. Jones, I'm writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years

He makes love to me regardless of what I am doing, whether ironing, washing dishes, sweeping, even sending e-mails, etc.

I would like to know if there is anything that ucnn hlp m wth nd f unothel gothsl ehj fpslth fjsl;s;;o{O} .lp sld mpskdli dlks; a;ld ;;'

Ccinsely ous,,, mdyl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other night I asked a stripper if she liked her job

She said yes, but that it's very titty-ous work

What’s the Italian word for various types of items

Mussolini-ous

It's not funny when a First Lady runs for President.

It's Hillary-ous.

Did you hear about Avengers: Infinity Wars?

It's said to be Marvel-ous!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul goes to school...

Paul goes to school...

Teacher announces, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable word. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Clara says " Att-ract-ive"

Miss Reynolds " Clara, that's great! well done!"

Barry "Dan-ger-ous"

Again Miss Reynolds ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart Dachshund

An rich old lady decides to go on safari in Africa, along with her little pet dachshund, Frankie.
They set up camp and it isn't long before Frankie begins to explore his new surroundings.
Suddenly he finds himself far from the camp and feels eyes on him. Up in a tree is a large jaguar, ready...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An oldie in honor of Sir Sean Connery, RIP

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Betting and winning

A little old lady went into the Bank one day, carrying a bag of money. She asked to speak with the bank president to open an account because, "It's a lot of money!" The reluctant staff finally ushered her into his office. The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She repl...

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