UPJOKE
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Offhand Jokes

"Well, there goes the end of my arm," said Tom offhandedly.

A retail worker was talking to a customer when they noticed some long, high pitched noises coming from the electronic section

‘Your Macbooks aren’t breaking are they?’ mused the slightly concerned customer.


The worker listened to the noise for a moment before motioning offhandedly to the speaker section.

‘Don’t worry, it’s just a Dell.’

Tom Swift's best moments.

"German sausage jokes are the wurst," Tom said frankly.

"I got cut in half," Tom said intuitively.

"I will never read Shakespeare," Tom said unwillingly.

"I lost my legs right under the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.

"Who turned out the lights?" Tom asked dimly.

"I ...

A man dies and finds himself in an elevator

He did expect a light at the end of the tunnel and all that, but he decides to see where things are going. Pretty soon, the destination of his elevator-ride is showing up on the display: "Hell"

"Well", the man thinks, "I've had a good life. Fair's fair I guess."

The elevator opens an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cadet in the Foreign Legion

A cadet in the Foreign Legion gets sent to a small outpost in the middle of the Arabian desert. There's a small group of hardened soldiers stationed there, along with a group of Bedouins who cook, clean, and tend the camels. On his first night he offhandedly asks what they do for women out there. "W...

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