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How about instead of law and order there’s a show called law and hors d’oeuvres

and Ice-T says “we found deviled eggs and jalapeno poppers in the victim’s anal cavity”

What do you call someone that prepares hors d'oeuvres?

An app developer

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My wife arranged some hors d'oeuvres on her vagina

She was trying to make it look like a duck, but I thought it looked more like a platter puss.

Why did the ex-military chef fire his waitstaff?

They weren’t good at taking hors d'oeuvres.

the servers were in such a hurry to set up the hors d'oeuvre tray that they forgot the crackers

they were cracka lackin

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There is a global interest in survival and the ability to thrive after an apocalypse or major crisis.

Scientists decide that sending 3 men to a deserted island for 5 years with no hope of rescue or assistance would be a good indicator.

The United States, France, and China each offer up 1 person for the study and they all get sent to their fate.

5 years later a helicopter lands on the i...

What does the god Set eat with his salad?

Horus d’oeuvres.

A guy goes to a crowded party and wants to get a drink from the hors d'oeuvres table.

Surprisingly, there is no punch line.

What do you call a table of Middle Eastern hor d'oeuvres?

Allahu Snackbar

What does the President call his favorite snacks?

Executive hors d’oeuvres

What do clocks eat?

Mostly hour-d'oeuvres, in minute amounts, but they usually take seconds

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Newlywed husband wants to go to bar

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

... ...

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wi...

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A man and his wife decide to host a dinner party at their oceanfront home...

…the wife needs some hors d'oeuvres to serve to their guests, so asks the man to go down to the beach to collect some snails. The man grabs a bucket and goes down to fill his bucket with snails.

He has had a very long day, and is actually quite tired, so (against his better judgment) decides...

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