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Nhl Jokes

What's the Difference between NHL Players and the Jersey Shore Girls?

NHL Players shower after three periods.

Did you hear about Marvel wanting to buy the NHL?

They want to rename the championship trophy, The Stan Lee Cup

In the midst of the NHL Playoffs, here is my first r/Jokes submission.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the ...

Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.

I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time

I don't think they're as common in the NBA though...

I miss Hockey, so I decided to watch C-SPAN.

It's a decent substitute.

After all, like in the NHL, the Senators suck.

Did you hear about the NHL official that was arrested as a serial killer?

His name was Referee Dahmer.

The only sad thing about the Caps winning the cup is that we have to retire one of the best jokes in the NHL.

Have you ever been to a bar and ordered an Ovechkin?

If the bartender doesn't know what it is just tell him it's a White Russian with No Cup.

My friend has a really inspirational story.

He used to be a cop, but after a while the job really got to him. He was an alcoholic for a long time, and a particular thing for strong, dark beers.

Eventually though, my friend decided to make a change. He went to therapy, quit drinking, and he even quit his job to pursue his real passion....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a day late, but here's some Canadian jokes I came up with

1.) What do you call a Canadian military group?

- *The Eh Team*

2.) Welcome to Canada: Native land of the world's two sexiest Ryan's and the world's two most hated Justin's.

3.) Canadians are great at introducing themselves to strangers since they're so used to breaking the ice....

What's the difference between French women and an NHL hocky team?

The hockey team showers after 3 periods.

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

I got a random wrong number call from a "Blus Halilovec" in California this afternoon.

I pick up my phone--caller ID says it's someone from California called "Blus Halilovec." Before I can even say hello, this guy it slurring this long, drunken story about how he was kicked out of a bar while watching the NHL Winter Classic today, and could I come and give him a ride home? I try to sa...

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