What brand of glasses does Ned Flanders wear?

Okaleys

Ned and Fred, the Idiot Brothers...

Ned & Fred were building a house. Ned was putting up siding. He would take a nail out of his pouch, inspect it, sometimes hammer it in, other times, toss it into the trash.

Fred saw this, went over and said "What are you doing, tossing out perfectly good nails!?"

Ned explained, ...

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Ned and Phyllis lived in a retirement home

Every day they watched Days of our Lives sitting on the sofa with Phyllis holding Ned’s penis in her hand. One day Ned started to spend time with their next door neighbor Cynthia and gradually also during their special day time television show. Phyllis sobbingly asked Ned what Cynthia has that she h...

Ned and Fred Go Fishing

Ned and Fred rent a row boat to go fishing. It costs $20 for five hours to rent the boat. For the first four hours, they row around the lake but find no fish. Finally, at the last hour, they find the prefect spot and catch a lot of fish. Fred tells Ned "Mark this spot so that next time we don't...

What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?

Oakley Dokelys

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What type of cheese does Ned Flanders name his penis after?

Pecorino.

So I decided to submit a joke about Ned Stark's head

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What was Ned Stark's favorite part of the morning?

Raisin' Bran.

What does Kellogg’s have in common with Ned and Catelyn Stark?

They’re both responsible for Raisin’ Bran.

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves!!!

Just kidding, I'm actually not sure, they haven't opened it yet.

Ned Stark's death was foretold in his daughter's name

Because when he died, she was sans a Stark

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Ned Stark says - Winter is here...

It was autumn, and the Starks asked their Chief Ned Stark if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to b...

I'm the daughter of Ned Stark!

Arya?

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Good advice?

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on tv this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd st...

FOLLOWING A FRIEND

Two old friends, Ned and John, lived for baseball. Then one day, John died, leaving Ned inconsolable. A few weeks later, Ned heard someone calling his name. He looked up. Standing on a cloud was his old pal.
“Ned,” John called down, “I have good news and bad. The good news is, there’s baseball in...

What's a sharks least favourite name?

Ned
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So I have my Alexa set up to tell me joke when I say goodnight, last night it told me that joke...and I can't work it out?! I have searched for it online, and other people have searched for it but no one has seemed to find out what it means.

Am I being stupid and missing som...

When Thanos snaps...

Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.

Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!

The most popular man in the world

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone ha...

Jake was on his deathbed

His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side.

He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"My darling Susan," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don't talk."

He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must co...

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A guy goes up to the Yukon and wants to hear some old Gold Rush stories....

so he goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he knows any old stories. Bartender says "you best ask old Ned." and indicates towards a man sitting in the corner in a wheelchair.

Old Ned is wizened with a long scraggly beard. He has a comforter across his knees as he nurses his beer.
...

There's only one rule in heaven

Three friends, Ted, Ned, and Fred, get killed in a car crash. They arrive all three together at the pearly gates and are excited that they will be let in, but St. Peter warns them, "There is only one rule in heaven, you must NOT step on the ducks, or you will suffer for eternity." The three friends ...

An assortment of GoT puns (don't worry, no spoilers)

Note: I have not seen a single episode of GoT, nor have I read the books. All my knowledge is based off of what I hear in the news. Feel free to insert your "OP knows as much as Jon Snow" joke here.

So, here goes:

What should George R.R. Martin have called the Night's Watch? The Snow P...

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