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Morty Jokes

What would the show be renamed if Rick and Morty actually legitimately died for good?

Rigor and Mortis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golden toilets

A guy walks into a bar in one morning, and goes up to the bar tender. "Do you guys have golden toilets?" he asks.

"What? Golden toilets? What are you talking about?"

"Look, last night I got pretty wasted but the one thing I can remember is peeing in a golden toilet."

Bartender ...

Why did Rick and Morty go to Goodwill?

To get thrifty.

90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...

... when in reality they're Jerry.

What do Rick and Morty fans and Reddit have in common?

...

I don't know, you're all geniuses; You tell me!

A Story About My Time with a Homeless Man

Insert Rick and Morty joke here.

I missed the latest episode of Rick & Morty

Boy, do I feel stupid now.

My girlfriend climaxed at the season finale of Rick and Morty

She also climaxed at the finale of Iron fist.

And again at the season Finale of Game of Thrones.

She keeps coming to conclusions

What do Lifeguards and Rick and Morty's Space cruiser have in common?

Keep Summer Safe

What Did He Say?

Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. Selma was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

Selma, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

Morty yel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unfortunate pirate

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?”

Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer han...

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An old New Yorker and his wife were at the therapist

The wife said “In the fifty years I’ve known him, Morty hasn’t had a good word to say about anything. All he does is complain.”

The therapist looks at Morty and asks “what do you think about that?”

“I think it’s terrible, and ridiculous, and absurd, and I don’t even know why we’re her...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Mr. Simon's last mail delivery after 40 years of dedicated service.

And as he arrives at the last house on his route, the number of gifts and tokens of appreciation in his overbrimming mail cart is pretty damned impressive.

And it's not without a tear in his eye that he flips the front door's brass mail slot to push the last delivery of his professional life ...

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