What do Clowns and moldy bread have in common?

They both taste funny.

Did you hear about the moldy piece of cheese that got fired from his job?

I heard he has been on the chopping block for a while

Another “So Oldie It’s Moldy” joke

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I bought oats for my horse but they were moldy so I returned them and told the manager he should have better quality control.

He took my feedback.

Did you hear about the stoner who had a stash that never went stale or moldy? He used to spend hours stoned just staring at it...

I guess it's true what they say, a watched pot never spoils.

I was so proud of the moldy cheese in my fridge.

It had become very cultured.

A Moldy Oldie

Complaining of his marriage for thirty-odd years

He highballed his eyeballs, comforting his tears

The barkeep asked, what's troubling you son?

He poured out his life; I'm finished! I'm done!

The woman I married has turned into a nag

What I wouldn't give to be rid o...

Yesterday I had to throw out my moldy shredded cheese

It was for the grater good.

My neighbor was hit by a financial crisis

He has to eat moldy cheese, drink old wine and drive in cars without roofs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!

Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Look whe...

What do you call an expired avocado?

Guaca-moldy

(Courtesy of my 12-year-old that hears Dad jokes all the time)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Levels of Death

A man dies and arrives in Hell. He looks around. The sky is gloomy and rainy. He’s approached by an old man. The old man says, “Hello. Welcome to Hell. Let me show you around.” So the old man starts to show him around. He shows the man to a rundown shack and says, “This is where you’ll sleep.” He th...

How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?

When it turns guaca-moldy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year is 1943, and an Allied encampment is surrounded by German forces.

There are three regiments in the camp: one American, one British, and one Soviet. The three have been surrounded by the Germans, who have cut off their supply lines and are awaiting a surrender of the Allied troops. After several days, this has put severe strain on the encampment’s supplies.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man at a motel in the middle of nowhere

This joke is actually best heard in Hindi, let's see how well it does translated.

A man is staying in a room at a motel at night in the middle of nowhere, on his way to a different city. Being the only establishment as far as the eye can see, let's just say the management is lax about basic u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a public toilet...

and sees a man with no arms waiting by a urinal. Being a gentleman, once he has done his business, he asks the man if he can help. The man says 'Thanks buddy, could you unzip my trousers please?'. Thinking of this as his good deed for the day, he does as he is asked. The man then says 'and could you...

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