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Moldy Jokes

Another “So Oldie It’s Moldy” joke

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

What do Clowns and moldy bread have in common?

They both taste funny.

A Moldy Oldie

Complaining of his marriage for thirty-odd years

He highballed his eyeballs, comforting his tears

The barkeep asked, what's troubling you son?

He poured out his life; I'm finished! I'm done!

The woman I married has turned into a nag

What I wouldn't give to be rid o...

Did you hear about the moldy piece of cheese that got fired from his job?

I heard he has been on the chopping block for a while

Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!

Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Look whe...

I was so proud of the moldy cheese in my fridge.

It had become very cultured.

Yesterday I had to throw out my moldy shredded cheese

It was for the grater good.

Did you hear about the stoner who had a stash that never went stale or moldy? He used to spend hours stoned just staring at it...

I guess it's true what they say, a watched pot never spoils.

Did you hear about the country that tried to use fresh fruit as currency?

They ran into problems when everyone’s money started to get moldy. Last I heard, they’re looking into using non-fungible tokens now.

My neighbor was hit by a financial crisis

He has to eat moldy cheese, drink old wine and drive in cars without roofs.

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A joke written by the AI, ChatGPT

The sky above the port was the color of a moldy jellyfish, a sickly green that made everyone below feel nauseous. But a group of rebellious clowns, led by the hapless hero Isaac Newton, had a plan to bring some joy to the dreary sky. Using a circus tent and a lot of helium, they intended to lift the...

How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?

When it turns guaca-moldy.

A man was enjoying an evening stroll on the beach...

...when he came upon a group of four women building a fire. When they saw him one said, "This is a private ceremony. No men allowed!" The man apologized and turned around and went back the way he came, but curiousity got the best of him.

As soon as he was out of sight he went into the nearby...

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A man walks into a public toilet...

and sees a man with no arms waiting by a urinal. Being a gentleman, once he has done his business, he asks the man if he can help. The man says 'Thanks buddy, could you unzip my trousers please?'. Thinking of this as his good deed for the day, he does as he is asked. The man then says 'and could you...

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Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

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The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

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The Levels of Death

A man dies and arrives in Hell. He looks around. The sky is gloomy and rainy. He’s approached by an old man. The old man says, “Hello. Welcome to Hell. Let me show you around.” So the old man starts to show him around. He shows the man to a rundown shack and says, “This is where you’ll sleep.” He th...

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