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Luftwaffe Jokes

My Grandfather downed 35 German aircraft during WW2

He still holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

My grandpa destroyed 12 German planes during WW2.

He was, without a doubt, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe

At a girls' boarding school, a WW2 flying ace has been invited to give the Prize Day address

"I was flying along in my Spitfire, and visibility was poor, but all of a sudden the fog lifted, and I saw these fokkers coming up behind me. I dived on them and shot two of the fokkers down, then did a quick roll, but there was a little fokker right on my tail, and I had to ..."

At this poi...

My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2

He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad was responsible for bringing down several Nazi planes during WW2.

The Luftwaffe said he was the worst mechanic they ever employed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad was a WWII veteran. In just one day during the Battle of Britain, he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing a total of 32 Nazi aviators.

He was easily the worst aircraft mechanic the Luftwaffe has ever had.

A German airman on the air forces during WW2

If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe.

My aunt was in a Luftwaffe flak battalion....

a fact not appreciated by my great uncle as his B-17 flew over her city of Hamburg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather told me how, during WW2 when my nation was under Nazi occupation, he was part of the underground resistance, managing to bring down several German aircraft, and killing many of the pilots.

Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

My father was an Allied war hero. He single-handedly destroyed 4 Messerschmitts, 9 Heinkel bombers, and 11 Stuka dive bombers.

He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Hitler eat for breakfast?

Luftwaffes

My great-grandad was personally responsible for bringing down over 30 German aircraft in WW2.

All the other mechanics in the Luftwaffe never really liked him though.

My grandfather brought down

3 Messerschmitts and 2 Heinkels during the Battle of Britain-he was undoubtedly the worst mechanic in Luftwaffe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back when Pope John Paul II died, the Vatican College of Cardinals were faced with the responsibility of choosing a new pope for the Catholic Church...

... At first, they favored a British Cardinal by the name of Cardinal Nigel Mason.

Card. Mason had been a pilot in WWII, fighting Germany's Luftwaffe. He was decorated for his service, during which he shot down 12 Nazi fighter planes.

He himself was finally shot down and made a rough l...

British pilot shot down over Germany...

...unfortunately he was badly injured when he was captured. They had to amputate his left leg so he asked if the Luftwaffe would drop it over his base in England, they obliged. A week later his right leg was amputated and again it was dropped over his base. Soon after his arm had to be amputated and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the draw down of WWII...

Dignitaries and generals were touring Nazi facilities in Europe. One of the stops that they made was at a naval base where the dreaded U-Boats were based.

The dignitaries and their staffs were headed to a captured U-Boat, when a droning was noticed, and the air raid sirens went off. The Luft...

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