I bought some pets online, and just had them delivered.
Turns out they need their liver.
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What do you call an alcoholic mailman?
De-livered
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Babies shouldn't be delivered.
Livers are important.
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I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant
I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.
I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!
Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I ...
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When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?
OP de-livered.
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These days, people are always having their food delivered.
Why don't they just order it without the livers?
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My attempt at a Mitch Hedberg joke
"Why are people always having their pizzas delivered? Just order them without liver."
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