UPJOKE
librarypagebookcasedue datefoliobookbookshelfbibliophilebookhousee librarybookwormreference booklend librarybookendshelfmark

In a public library, a man with his new library card questioned the blonde librarian.

“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that with this card I may take out any book I want?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“And may I take out vinyl records too?”

“Yes, you may.”

“May I take you out?” he ventured.

*"Sir, the librarians are for reference only.”*

New York is a great city. Today I was at the library, & I asked the librarian for a library card. He told me I first had to prove I was from New York.

So I stabbed him.

Having fun isn't hard when you have a library card...

You need something to line up the coke, after all.

Why can't accountants get library cards?

They're book-keepers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally quit watching porn.

My library card expired

Read it

A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went.

It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart.

The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou...

An old lady in a nursing home...

Was going up and down the corridor on her zimmer frame when an elderly retired policeman jumps out in front of her.

"You were speeding just then madam," he says "could I have your driver's license?" She hands over her library card which he studies carefully, and hands it back to her with a ra...

A Chicken walked into a Library...

So one day, while I was still working as a Librarian, this chicken walked inside and went toward the stacks of books. After what seemed like a few minutes, the chicken walked up to the counter with good size stack of books. The Chicken put them on the counter and, while pointing to each book, said: ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.