John Wick Jokes - 12 Hilarious John Wick Jokes

Thanos X John Wick

Advisor to Thanos: "Sir, John Wick survived the snap."

Thanos: "So?"

Advisor to Thanos; "His dog didn't."

Thanos: "Oh....."

What do John Wick and mathematicians have in common?

They can work out any problem with a pencil

What happens if John Wick is recast?

Keanu Leaves

Who would win in a fight between the Joker an John Wick?

The Joker because he would make John Wicks pencil disappear

Asian John Wick walks into a bar

He eats, shoots, and Reeves.

There used to be a school for assassins in New York

It was actually the place where John Wick was trained.

The school would take in orphans and abandoned children and train them, from a young age, to be merciless killers.

As one might imagine, it was a very harsh environment for anyone to grow up, in fact the only real love and affectio...

A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.

But it's definitely number 2.

What do you call the father of John Wick?

John Candle

John Wick stabbed a guy in the shoulder.

He was left with a bad shoulder blade.

Never bring a knife to a gun fight...

Unless you're John Wick, in that case bring a pencil.

What’s the difference between Abraham Lincoln’s killer and where Keanu Reeves sits at a restaurant?

One is John Wilkes Booth, and the other is John Wick’s booth.

Keanu Reeves is coming out with a candle line...

He's calling them John wicks.

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